Ode to The Tough Guy

Picture Saturday night:
I'm at a show, watching a brutal band, Blackout 77 (click for the picture) sacrilegiously intimidate the Sex Pistols. The lead singer's British accent was utterly laughable. It sounded more like he was talking with a sock in his mouth. Worse yet, he kept looking to the swastika clad lead Guitarist shouting "Sid!"... "eh Sid?!".. "Bring it home Siddy!" followed by some incoherent blabber ... and then "Sid!"

I was enraged. People we actually enjoying this.
Where was I you ask?

I was backstage (er side stage). I was in the elevated, Privileged bands only section, safely separated from the hordes of tasteless, moshing boobs as they honored their sexless wannabes.

Standing there, seething from my overdose of Vitamin O I continued to bare it, only if for the comedy of the situation.

Hulk Hogan, Enter Stage Left:
Doing nothing, saying nothing, standing there, suddenly an arm clamps down on my shoulder. "BANDS ONLY"

I turn to my left. "What the fuck?" I exclaim, Full of piss and vinegar, turning to face some make-up boasting muscle bound moron in the oh-so-elite "Dome Security" T-shirt.

"You gotta be with the band to be back here buddy!" As I was 4 feet from the moshing crowd.

I stood there for a second, going back through my brain's blackbox. I'd been standing here for 20 minutes, this guy had been standing next to me the whole time. Why had his balls suddenly dropped? Hadn't he already filled his assault quota for the night? The guy at the door certainly had, he'd cupped my balls/Frisked me down to make sure I wasn't a gun-totting Gee.

"Get your F*cking hands off me" I said to him, not believing what I had said as I said it.

"You gotta be with the band!" He said, now shoving me.
Summoning all my God-given Oland's provided strength I grabbed his hand and flung it off me. "Fuck off tough guy. Get your hands off me. You can fucking ask me and I'll leave...."

It worked. He stepped back.
I thought to up the ante, but then wishing not to make a scene or end up in hospital, I left my front row seat to abomination and retreated into the crowd.

I was content to retreat. Happy and smiling, that for an instant, I'd left nerdom and graduated to being a tough guy. My diploma, the look on that idot's clown painted face when I fought back.

Of course, to put this in perspective.
I spent the early hours of Sunday watching bootlegged Mythbuster's Episodes over a McDonald's McDeal and Stella and then spent the somewhat later-early hours of Sunday Giving my earlier consumed but as of yet undigested Vitamin O back to the environment.

But I'm still content. :)