The Culprit

Only Yesterday I had celebrated because I'd been the first to receive one of the new series Computers. The Newest Employee given the most powerful computer (I've ever sat infront of) before anyone else. Little did I realize, I was a guinea pig.

After I booted up my computer and I went about my way, setting a pretty desktop background and customizing my sounds to a Star Trek theme my computer deemed me a threat.

For reasons unknown to the biggest of the Big Wigs at technical Support in Another Country, In the background my computer had been busy. It had synced up with the security permissions server and had deemed me unfit. As I went about personalizing my computer, it went about uninstalling all the of the engineering applications, locking me out of my mail and shared drives. The security server had detected the computer on boot and upon issuing commands from Houston, had proceeded to lock down all my information, removing all things installed and denying permissions to everything. Minutes Later, the other Newly Hired "kid" came running into my cubicle, repeating my own story in his form to me [he'd gotten his computer second =) ].

I sat there in my cubicle smiling, nodding, sipping corporate coffee from a corporate mug as the overweight "on-site tech support guy" had told me everything in words I was too tired to listen to, much less care about.

"So I can't use my computer?"

"You can't use any computer."

"Should be an easy workterm then eh?" I said.

"I wish I could say the same for my day." He said as he took a Tim Horton's bag out of his coat pocket and set it down next to his Extra Large Tim Horton's Coffee, taking my computer chair. I could only imagine him jamming the whole doughnut in his mouth the second I stepped out.

So "break time" hit. The Rain that had made the morning umbrella-ed walk to work so pleasant had subsided, replaced much to my glee with blue sky and streaking sun. We went for a walk.

After a couple of hits of espresso and a couple of pocket warmed, half melted Turtles we headed back, the three of us venturing alongside the watersoaked battle field of Hollis Street. Truly Man versus Machine.

A huge puddle lay at the corner. The light turned green, just a second too early. The lineup of cars on the ridiculously busy one-way street lurched forward, hitting the puddle.

Spray danced across the sidewalk splashing into the marble of a building bordering the walk. I breathed a sigh of relief, We had only been a few feet away and those BMW driving bitches had aimed for us.

Laughing at the close call we walked ahead as the light turned red and the walk light changed.

*ring ring*

I'm not sure if there really was a bell, but I swear I heard it.
A lone cyclist sped along, rounding the corner, zipping right through the very same puddle.
The spray splashed upward, catching our faces, covering spotting our coats and slicing a wet, dirty line across our pants.

I turned around to yell at the "bicycle riding hippy" but I couldn't speak, I was stunned.

"YOU GODDAMNED MOTHER FUCKING SACK OF...!" Came the yell, matching what I was seeing. S had broken into a run, high heels clicking along the concrete, iced Tea launching.

*Crunch*. The plastic cup had hit the 'Heartless bastard' square in the back, breaking open. Ice and Tea splashed everywhere. The Biker Stopped, started to look back.

"Holy shit! Run!" J said against the laughter, we broke into a run. I was almost in panic, I couldn't believe what had just happened. We covered the 50 feet to the entrance in record time, Only daring to slow after the doors to the elevator had closed and we were well above street level and the possible range of any stray bullets.

"What the Hell were you .... no... better yet, how the hell did you..." I started to say.

"I used to play baseball." S said, smiling.

We all burst out laughing.
The doors opened and there was our boss, eying us as if we were mad.
But after more corporate coffee in corporate mugs he laughed along with us. "How come no one invites me for break?" He said.

"Well you are wearing white pants, and we can run faster."

"Well you know, I am distantly related to Joe DiMaggio"He said.

"Really?" I asked

"No"
...