I've decided that from now on I'm only going to speak in code.
Invasions of my privacy have become commonplace and extraordinary measures are required now to protect what little I have left. Of course, I'd be lying if I said it was my idea. The original concept is seductively foreign, but I've decided to Expand it in such a manner as only I know how.

Everyone and Everything Important will be assigned a number. No more words, no more ears. The meanings of the numbers are surely known to those who are involved.

I'm a mathematician, the code should seem completely normal.
My number will be 100. The reason should be obvious.

Eyebrows will undoubtedly raise when I answer the phone.
"Hello, 100 speaking" ... "Good Morning There, 100 Speaking"... "Hi, Pleasure to meet you, I'm 100."

But as the conversations continue people will think they've only heard half of the conversation. They'll think it's about something they are totally unconcerned with.... Math. Some crazy kid with spikey hair is sitting over there rambling off random numbers, Has he gone crazy?
Yes.
But the number for that is 77.
"Have you gone 77?"
"I went 77 just after I had a 5 with 100"
"Christ, you really are 77. What 5 did you have?"
"We had a set of 43s, then another.... then another... it was pretty 77 actually."

As my life seems to be of such great conversation material, math should make a nice substitute. Math is the universal language after all. But if it's universal, how come so few people speak it?
Of course us mathematicians speak it, we're the translators for the rest of the world. But then of course, Engineers speak it, so do Astronauts, Pilots, and of course Scientists (of all kinds).

So the conversation will continue. Never again interrupted by who may be listening. Never again will there be the need for the sudden switching to diversionary topics such as the Weather, or failing that, simply Silence.

"Oh 100 is that you?"I say.

"Excellent Great to hear from you" I continue, ".... would you like to go grab a couple of 5's after 5? 5's not good? Ok no worry, Well how about 40 passed 7... you know, 20 to 8? ok.. perfect that works Maybe after we can pick up a 3, it shouldn't be any later than 10, certainly not passed 11? No? what? Ok perfect. Are we still on for 2? Excellent, I've been practicing my 33 and I think it's about ready for the 2 scene.... Yes Yes, I entirely agree. How about 7 on Friday? Excellent! I guess 7 is lucky, no broken bones in the forecast.... Yup, looks like Saturday... wait what is Saturday? Oh its 18? ok, Then Saturday should be fine for a 20. Ok, I'll write that down now so I don't forget it. Perfect. Alright, I'll 6 you then. Take care 100.... Yup, you too, 11 later."

And remember, they say math is a Language.
So I'm 100.
Friday is 7 and 33.
April is all about 2.
and Thursday I have a couple of 5s scheduled.
... and you're 100.

Hmmm. Now....
Only Now this is starting to get complicated :)
At Least it's not difficult.