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There are always at least two possible outcomes to every decision.
Generally, one outcome is more favorable than the others.

People fit into two groups here.
There are those who will obssess over the less favorable outcome.
They will plane contingenices and be ready for the disaster that they are certain is on the very verge of happening.
When they're right, they're ready. When they're wrong, they're Estatic.
While they wait, they're miserable.

Then there are people like me.
People drunk on their own enthusiasm and blinded by optimism.
They will obssess over the more favorable outcome.
They'll begin to lay out the preliminary thoughts for a future based upon a good fortune that hasn't even occured yet.
When they're right they're reinforced.
When they're wrong, they're devastated.
But while they wait, they're secure, happy, and perhaps even bold.

I'm not sure why. I'm not sure why I do it.
Of course, every decision doesn't turn out to be an upset.
Actually, most of the very important ones usually turn out well.
Hence the idiotic smile I usually wear.

Unfortunately, the most important one in a long time didn't turn out well.
.... and it wasn't even my decision.
Probably why I can't understand it.

shit.