Sometimes, without warning, the weight of what I want and what I have done suddenly crashes down upon me. So this raises the question, what is it that takes more skill?

Is it the ability to continue smiling and let no one know that anything is wrong?
Or,
Is it that I'll accept the loss and the sacrifice needed to get what I want and then I'll pursue it twice as hard?

Or, Of course a third option: Is it just that I'm an idiot and the answer to the first question is "You're in Denial" and the answer to the second is "You're avoiding the consequences".

So amongst the fuzzy memories and the copius amounts of a fuel-like smelling, pink coloured liquid I managed to have a great weekend. I also managed plunge myself into circumstances and confusions better left unscoped and undescribed.. at least until I can think straight and sort what has happened, what Is going to happen and if what I want wants me.
...

Oh Gossip Train, you'll swing up into full steam once we get back, no doubt.
I certainly did give you enough fuel for your fire.
You'll roll and you'll rumble, you'll toil and spread trouble.
So Spin your Wheels and make me smile.
For Not much else has in a while...
at least, not these days.