Energy and Carbon

I recently gave a presentation to my weary summertime classmates on Energy and Carbon. This was all part of the requirement for my Ethics and Law class; a required part of the education for any well-rounded engineer.

I usually hate giving presentations, let alone ones about stuff we've been drilled on since we were in primary school but 33% of the class' final grade value is something a nerd like me just cannot look away from.

Determined to bag 1/3 of my final mark, my group and I got together. All soon-to-be-engineers, we decided we'd divide the topic up into its major sections, fossil fuels and their [limited] supply, fossil fuel applications, fossil fuel emissions, and alternatives to fossil fuel.

Given my previous and my upcoming work terms based deep within the oil and gas industry, I had secretly hoped I would get the supply portion of the presentation, my mind was already racing with things I could include in my slides. But of course, being my ever accommodating self, I left another group member take it. This left me with the hefty task of presenting cleaner Energy Alternatives to fossil fuels, in a way that wouldn't rehash the same old topic to everyone again.. "A hydroelectric dam is...... It makes electricity...... Solar power comes from the sun....."

We began our research, and after some 60-70 hours of cumulative group work later, we were all pretty amazed. Facts such as, a huge amount of fossil fuel energy is expended in just making more fossil fuels, and while transportation uses 60% of all available fossil fuel and accounts for a massive amount of the emissions, again more than 15% of all greenhouse gases emitted are generated by new fossil fuel production. I was shocked. Of course, ~64% of all available energy in the world (anything that powers anything) comes from Fossil Fuels (coal,natural gas, oil)

I researched more into my topic and found it truly exciting. Some of the up and coming technologies (including an amazing electric car pointed out by matt) not only promise to help provide cheaper transportation, cheaper energy and cleaner air, but almost flatly promise to save the world from pollution and greed.

We gave the presentation. For 45 minutes My group mates set them up, hammering the audience with how our fossil fuel dependence is a birthing catastrophe, how the greedy economics are making some people rich while millions more people in some developing supply countries aren't benefiting at all and in many cases are suffering terribly as a result. The emission crisis, climate change, and the peak oil crisis were all laid out. Then I knocked them down with the Alternative Energy solutions currently and soon to be available. The question was, we can replace them, we can afford it, it will be expensive, but we'll be better off... So why don't we? Why work for a low-tech, very dirty, very greedy industry when there are exciting, high-tech alternatives straight out of the best science fiction?

My research on this topic slammed home. Am I going to take a job where I essentially (though indirectly) contribute to the destruction of the earth by keeping an industry that should be dead very much alive? I like science fiction, but I sure as hell don't want to help in any way, turn earth into what was portrayed in Blade Runner, some sort of destopian hell hole.

Do I tell the oil companies to stuff their money and take a job with an organization that will not only let me sleep at night, but let my children grow up under bluer skies than I did? We're only 50 years into the mix of this and fossil fuel use is steadily increasing, and already I'm worrying about what I'm breathing in, in another 20 years what will my kids be breathing?

I think I'm going to quit.
I don't think I can ethically proceed with what I'm about to do, despite the ridiculous salary offered... And what good will 'oil & gas experience' do me if I am not trying to get a job in that field.

and imagine... I'm thinking about kids.
Guess I'll have to put my plans for creating a fleet of interplanetary starships and space fighters on hold for now.

I remember a couple of months ago when I made my last post. I couldn't wait to get the summer overwith.

Now, with the end of the summer screaming toward me, the end of the school term a mere 6 days away, and a fantastic vacation sitting at my door step I've managed to falter.

I've gotten lost.. and the most troubling part is I only realized I was lost today.
I've obviously been roaming for sometime, roaming away from that what I wanted most.
I've taken a job I don't want. Well the thing is... I do want it, but I don't.

I've gotten separated from my dreams. I'm getting separated from the person I want to share those dreams with...

why?
I couldn't look away from the spectre of a job that offers a ridiculous salary. Despite getting paid for what I don't want to do, I chased the money.
I forgot about all I've sacrificed; the reason I moved, the reason I went back to school, the reason I done so much.

I set off on another course without every knowing I had.
I irrationally justified it.

and now... I'm left wondering if its too late...
or at least... too late for now... for nothing really is permenant, and this sure as hell isn't.
thank god_
...
not a very good post to break the 2 month silence with.