Now I'm in trouble.

I opened my big mouth... Well rather, free martini's and an overly inflated sense of self-importance opened my mouth. But regardless the result has been the same.

Yesterday, and essentially everyday before that when this issue was first raised, the decision was easy.

Today, I'm caught in the middle of a Tug of war between to of the largest companies on Earth. While it's flattering to have counter offers being thrown around like frisbees, it increases my stresses and complicates things.

I can feel My vision quickly becoming clouded again by the prospect of money. More money here, yet less enjoyable work.

But on the other hand, more enjoyable work, less money, but also no prospect of returning home anytime soon.

Just imagine me, sitting down to a nice meal.
I'm about to take my first bite when I look across the table at my smiling supervisor.

"So, here's the deal. Tell us what you want, and we're going to make it happen."

I didn't taste a single bite of the entire meal.
My entire brain power was suddenly, completely devoted to getting myself out of an embarassingly terrible situation.

"ahhhhh..... ummmmmm..... ahhhhhhh.... ummmmm.... I'm not really sure."

But I am sure of one thing.
I'm a f--king idiot.

I hope you're happy now Blondie :)
You said it would be easier this way... well, please tell me how.

Sean sells sea shells by the sea shore.
The very same sea shore seen surrounded by seashell sporting ships on shimmering seas.

I've been smiling alot lately, and it's not because my mouth has been frozen that way. I've recieved a job offer which places me in the very center of a $10 billion project. The flattery that accompanied the offer did help this smile stay, but also the opportunity.

But still, I realize in full awareness that this is very likely the industry I don't not want to become a part of, yet the opportunity for my professional development is undeniable. Being a developer and designer on a project with a price tag greater than the budget of most provinces is exceptional.
Plus it is chance to do the work I love, the nuts and the bolts, the facilities, the working things that make it all happen.

Perhaps the best part is it's only 4 months.
I'm not stuck, it's just another workterm. But not only is it another workterm, its one of the most amazing workterms I've ever heard of, and it just kind of dropped into my lap.

"Never turn down a good thing"

"The heat can be uncomfortable, But the cold can be scary."

I laughed, my Newfoundland provided supreme blend of toughness said these mainland folk didn't know the REAL Cold. I laughed it off when It had been said over a beer in that chilly little hole of a bar in Northren Alberta.

With the spoils of a 'real day's work' still under my fingernails and the bruise on my right forearm taking color nicely, the beer had quickly refocused my attention away from this 'bullshit' warning and onto other things like treasures, riches, and glory.

Today is a different story.
I have never experience cold like this. Cold that's so cold that people panic, stores close, and City transit breaks down. Buses won't start and trains pull into a station along the line to stop, only to be unable start again. Homeless people are found frozen to death and any car without a block heater won't start without a few kettles of hot water pitched over the engine block.

Luckily, these tales made their way to me via msn, tv, or the telephone, while my cold feet remained curled under me with a warm mug of coffee resting atop.

But as the day progressed, cabin fever began to take hold. I looked out the window. It was a beautiful sunny day by all respects, only the billowing chimneys atop every house spoke of any warning. I licked my lips, dry and papery as they were and figured, "I need to go to the store, some lip balm would be ideal."

I put on my ski jacket, gloves, hat, and capped it all off with a pair of tennis sneakers.

I left the warmth and began to walk to the store. The cold was biting with burning teeth under my pant cuffs, sinking its teeth in just above my ankle socks. My eyes seemed to make a slight creaking, cracking sound everytime they moved, but especially when they blinked. I registered a strange metallic taste in my mouth, I could feel my lips screaming with strain, just wanting to crack and tear.

Little More than halfway through my journey along the side of the neighborhood football field I turned round to gaze back at what I was walking through, maybe it was shorter to go back.

I squinted, not quite believeing what I was looking at.
A foggy, gradually dispersing trail hung low in the air behind me. The immediate shock of a possible trailing ghost soon faded.
As I turned my head, a tinkling, crackling sound started. I realized the scruff below my lips was covered in ice. The side of my trademark blue, red, and gold tuque was blended with strands of ice, all cracking, falling away like the lightest snow.

I breahted. My eyes cracked and creaked, focusing on the sight of the billowing cloud from Old man Winter's mouth.

My breath was freezing as soon as I exhaled. Huge plumes of White rushed out of my mouth. Spiraling and twisting together in the air. The moisture hanging as a light fog, unable to rise, weighed down as it froze into large enough sparkles of ice to fall lightly from the air.

I quickened my pace...

Hey Guess What!

I'm Freezing!

and it's only going to get worse.

I hope all the rest of you are enjoying ridiculously warmer weather.. I'm stuck inside :)

Insert a quarter and see what you can see for the sake of simply seeing,
pay a fee to take for granted the free blessing you couldn't live without,
stare in awe at natural beauty and curse the horribly intolerable human limitation you can barely live with.

But know that you have a heads' up, why don't you try not to, or at least pretend you know better?
But you won't... and I won't.
So nothing will change, and I'll keep smiling, trying not to laugh... at you.
---
I signed on the dotted line.

For reasons unknown, after spending a long day hungover, the result of my attendance at the company cocktail party, I got drunk again. With most everyone else I know in this city traveling to visit family this weekend, I was left with little recourse but to try something I really hadn't before, I was going to have to "go it alone".

As If I were marching to some unheard beat, I rhythmically stripped down and pulled on something "half decent" and walked up the street in the dark, damp cold to the neighboring Irish pub.

I pushed through the old wooden doors and stain glass and found myself feeling at home in the smoky, dimly lit, and convincingly authentic pub. The crowd struck me as slightly less than half capacity as I walked to the bar, suddenly feeling terribly awkward.

Not waiting for anyone and not being waited for, I pulled out my credit card and handed it across the bar, deciding to start this trek with an amber pint of Kilkenny.

I started to become comfortable, as my bar chair conformed to me and I grew used to not having to talk, of course, the beer had also begun to do its work.

A cold breeze announced someone else's arrival at the bar. I turned slightly to see the somewhat recognizable features of face I just couldn't place. The fellow sat down next to me with an empty stool for spacing, glanced at my glass and nodded, "I'll take one of those"

I can't remember when or why, but somehow between beers 1 and 3, an impressively developed conversation about Alberta vs. Coastline living started with the fellow I had identified as a neighbour in our condo block. Without feeling the blast of cold air, a new arrival pulled up at my unoccupied side. I immediately recognized her and I saw she thought the same.

Extending a hand with a smile, I greeted her. My drinking mate stretched his hand across in front of me and conducted his introductions than excused himself, paying his tab.

"Here for the same reason?" I asked.

"Would that be not wanting to stay in, but no one else wants to go out?"

I laughed. "Words taken right from my mouth."

She ordered a beer which I hadn't heard of and a magnificent glass was placed in front of her.

The conversation drifted to more personal matters, how I liked the city, the work, my current employer.

I explained the difficult decision I had been faced with.
She seemed to frown at this, but yet had remained smiling. The trueness of the smile just seeming to fade.

"How about I don't say anything because I will only help stir the mix. But let me tell you something that someone once told me when I was in a similar position."

"Oh?" I said stupidly.

"I had to choose between getting home, or getting to where I am now. I poured out my heart to a teacher and he only looked at me blankly and said, 'Try to never pass up a good opportunity'."

She winked at me with that and finished what had somehow become her fourth drink.

She stood to put on her coat and I glanced at my watch. It was now 5 hours later and the bartender seemed to lean across as if on cue, "Last call my friend, anything?"

I saw her smile, she was watching carefully, no doubt taking notes. "I'm alright mate, thanks" I said, still unsure if I had said it with an Australian accent.

"Allow me to walk you home?" I said, signing my ridiculous bill

"Why what a gentleman, but only on one condition."

"Oh?" I said, unsure what was about to follow, my legs tensing, gearing to run.

"You remember what we talked about tonite."

I fought the urge to sigh with relief. "Deal." I smiled

Minutes later, and mere meters from my house I had seen her to her door, then skipped back to my room-mateless house.

I couldn't sleep. I rolled, tossing and turning and finally after an hour decided to head downstairs and watch tv.

I flicked on the television and planted myself on the couch, to my surprise, Starship troopers was on.

I buried in underneath a blanket and rewatched for the tenth time.

About an hour later the professor came along, "Rico, Remember you once asked me for advice?"

"Never pass up a good thing."
---
I woke up this morning, somehow relocated to my bed, with my decision made.

When I look at the world...

I like to pretend I know exactly what I'm looking at.

Here I am, caught on film doing just that.
Far away from any place I'd ever call home,
I have no idea what I'm looking at.
I have no idea what the signs around me say.
I have no idea what anyone around me is saying.

But with the aid of a practised straight-face and a healthy dose of cover from some sunglasses, you'd think I was carefully inspecting these, knowingly examining the lot for the best.

.....
or not...
.. It is actually surprising how easily a perfectly reasonable and believable straight-face can be held almost perpetually when a chinese shop keeper is beside you, and you don't want to react to the fact that the shop smells like Butchered Dog (shit) and possibly offend him (get butchered yourself).

But At least they look delicious.

I've been to lantern festivals before, however never one that was exclusively Chinese, well except for me.

And of course, never one with 6,000 Lanterns or anything like this 150 foot Chinese Dragon. But that said, this wasn't the biggest, nor the most spectacular, however it goes with the scheme of my blog just so.

I'm always a little miffed about how we in North America, and particularly Canada/US think so highly of ourselves. My Earlier levels of education never touched, not more than for a moment, on anything concerning eastern (eastern Hemisphere) Cultures. What I learned of China, Russia, Japan, and everywhere else essentially came from reading national geographic and watching TV.

I find it interesting how we consider ourselves truly multi-cultural yet concentrate only on our limited domestic history, with varying forays into Western European History when we feel the need to dive further back into the time line.

But that said, my knowledge of Russia has undergone a pretty serious renewal as of late.
I'm diving into The art of War again, and After this past weekend in Ottawa, I'm on the very verge of diving back into French Classes.

I need a second language. Actually, I guess I need a third, though my second, русско is still only in the toddler phases of speech.

I think I'll be taking some serious extra-curricular French classes when I head back east, especially given the current rankings of future homes:

Acceptable to Live:
Calgary, Ottawa, Halifax, San Diego, Houston, St. John's

Not Acceptable to Live:
Toronto, Cold Lake, northern Alberta (including Edmonton)

Yet To Be Evaluated (visited):
Vancouver, San Francisco, Victoria, Seattle, Raleigh, Aberdeen, Melbourne,