Movement in Still Life

Back online

2009-04-13T10:55:00.002-03:00

After having my own webpage for a year I figured "What the hell, this is pointless"

Firstly, it was quite a bit of work that I didn't have time for amongst real paying work and having fun. Secondly, writing for that website was never as fun as it had been for this blogpage.

So with that, I'm back. :D

The End

2008-07-11T09:21:00.003-03:00

Well I've finally gotten my new website up and running, and to that effect, I'm going to shelf this one into the inactive category.

The new one takes something more of a professional flare on things, and is more aimed at showcasing things than allowing itself to be a venting ground.

So with that, that's it :)

P.S. You can see the new site here. CLICK! :)

We Did IT

2008-06-29T12:17:00.002-03:00

We did it! We have a new place to live!

It's been a pretty huge little while and now, all the stress with relocation (save the act itself) is finally over and done with.

In something that I've always been envious of, J's incredible ability to interview flawlessly carried her from the start of a job hunt to an incredible renewable energy job in the heart of Calgary in the span of 10 days.

Left hanging with my mouth open in envy, we entered into negotiations to retire Bachelor C.

5 days later, in something of a fluke, but masterfully executed "refresh" of craigslist at 11:30pm, the perfect house listing showed up. We scrambled, J and Myself to e-mail the landlord.

By 4pm the next day we had a beautiful condo in one of the most coveted places in Calgary to live. Our e-mail of request was sent a mere 3 minutes after the posting had first appeared to the viscous housing market that is C-town.

The stress of doing all of this ground work has suddenly been replaced with an unbelievable sense of awe and shock. Everything actually came together. All of my contingency planning and worrying about "what if" this or that didn't shape up is suddenly gone.

I actually feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Now to actually move.

2008-06-05T12:16:00.002-03:00

I've been home one day and I'm beginning to feel as if I'm working at the CF call center.

Every call I take is from my "relocation experts" or my moving company at my destination, or their local affiliate, or the concerige at my apartment, or the furniture store, or the real estate agents, or....

you get the idea.

I made a couple of calls when I returned, and perhaps erroneously mentioned that I was ready to start planning moving. Now suddenly there is a surge of momentum pushing and pulling, vying for spots on my calendar. I'm moving on this date, getting inspected here, packing on this date...

I'm not even in the same province as all this stuff anymore. Now I'm booking plane tickets and aiding the search for a landing zone in calgary.

Christ... the change of pace from vacation is certainly unwelcome.

At least it is happening here at home. :)

2008-06-04T16:48:00.003-03:00

Vacation is over!

It's sad but it's true. Summer is here and I'm not really in the shape I'd want to be in, however I'm a graduate. Today was my first full day home and luckily (and strangely) it was absolutely gorgeous. So I figured why not go for a run.

I just signed up for the legendary Tely 10 road race. This is my first time and with that thought fresh in my mind (that I wanted to avoid complete and utter embarrassment) I pushed myself today on a run.

You can imagine my shock and dismay when I got home and googled it up. 4.5 miles.

Not bad for a first time. now the time, 45 minutes wasn't anything to brag about, but the fact that I outran my dogs the entire was was something to feel good about.

Time to go stretch... the stiffness is already setting in.

2008-03-29T11:56:00.003-03:00

There's a problem.

I've gone ahead and made a tremendous investment, one that puts me at the very frontier of what I'm capable of. Unfortunately, after the initial excitement faded, the reality of things rushed in to fill the space.

The group which I have invested with is great, except for one, small, yet bold exception... and you see, it's one of these things where I've been "Trying to sleep on it." But, I've been waking up feeling worse about it.

As a result, my disdain has been slowing growing, becoming ever harder to keep contained.

I'd be lying if I said I haven't been considering an all out withdrawal from the entire thing. I suppose, "good ol' " me would have done that, not really caring about anything other than himself and his closet friends.

But then again, very few things/people/ideas bother me to the very core like this particular disagreement.

Maybe I'll nap on it this afternoon.
Either way, I suppose I should buckle up, it is definately going to be a bumpy ride.

*F--k Sh-T pi**!!!

2008-03-23T22:30:00.003-03:00

I'm sitting in my home office blankly staring at a pile of journal articles I need to read so I can start in on my 20% biomechanical engineering term paper.

But as you can imagine, "Stent design for arterioplasty" is about as fun to right about as it is to read/talk about.

So in the midst of procrastinating, I happened to glance up from my game of desk top tower defense and out the window.

It took a second for it to set in. At first I thought it was a huge fire at the oil refinery across the harbor... then I thought it was mars? but that was impossible, it was massive. A blimp maybe? nope. The moon, for whatever astronomical reason hung low and huge in the ski with a color I've never seen before, it was a deep dark blood red.

I ran through the house trying to find a camera. After 5 minutes of bumbling around, I managed to find a point-and shoot olympus, but as one can imagine it's not all that well suited to night photography. It took 10 or so shots to get this one... and unfortunately it's the best one I have. The image stabilization just couldn't facilitate a longer exposure and I don't have a tripod.

either way, pretty cool

2008-03-23T11:44:00.002-03:00

One of the side effects of my ambitious plan for the next couple of years is that Holidays away (far away) from home are going to be more common.

Easter away from home, friends and family sucks. I can't really imagine what Christmas is going to be like. I suppose in the future I'll have the comfort that I won't be busy with school work, I'll just be an infeasible distance away to travel for the weekend.

At least on the bright side, I still woke up this morning to an Easter Egg hunt and warm, beautiful smiles. It helps to take the edge off the fact that I need to head to the library now.

All in all, from what started off as a weekend with me being homesick has sort of blossomed into one of the better long weekends I've had in a really long time :)

Here's to the tradition of keeping good friday night free from memory.

Meet Marty

2008-03-18T22:05:00.003-03:00

My brother went to the upper campus engineering banquet Saturday night and was awarded the lucrative prize of "Greatest net weight gain".

You see, when you show up to this all you can eat celebration of almost being done, you weigh in and your weight is recorded.. Then you weigh out, and the largest gainer wins a prize :)

So naturally he won a Betta Fighting Fish in a neat Dollar store glass bottle.

After surviving a bus ride home in -10C temperatures, It arrived home and was planted on the kitchen counter much to my shock. As the weekend passed, the fish had no food and my brother grew comfortable with his abandonment of it. I began to feel sorry for the fish, it was after all in such a small little jar (think pin glass) and had no food.

So after deciding on a nice colorful name, we called it "Marty", I went to Aqua World and picked up Marty's new house, complete with colorful gravel, a nice algae and a sea shell, not to mention a limitless supply of blood worms. All of which I had nothing to do with (grand total, 30$ (fish was originally free, but was on $4 to buy).

so... meet marty :)

In other equally amazing news, I stumbled into "The Trail Shop" here just in the middle of an amazing year end sale. I picked up (quite unexpectedly) a North Face Crestone 75 backpack. It's amazing. The comfort, the design and the capacity is fantastic. What a find.

Certainly makes up having missed the sale on trail runners today. But the european departure is still a month away.

2008-03-10T01:10:00.005-03:00

The end of 5 years and $50,000 is closer now than ever.
I now feel the burden of cold iron.... there's no getting away from the continual reminder of what I'm responsible for and what I've sworn myself to... yesterday we all got our iron rings.
We're now officially inducted into the Family of Engineers and a "married to a strive toward perfect".

I sat and listened about how we are the arbiters of civilization. How it is our role to bare alone... how we must ensure that people get what they want.. that society and mankind steps forward into the future in the safest possible way. How our work must advance us...

It was quite a build up and I must admit I left that ceremony (which might I add is top secret) feeling quite powerful. Now if only this barby little unconformable ring would just stop irritating my pinky. (but I suppose then it wouldn't serve as a reminder nearly as effectively)

oh! and P.S!
I'm the new owner of my namesake on the web.

The new .com me website was an idea floating around in my head ever since I came across my first co-op job application form that had a space between "fax #" and "e-mail address" for "personal www."

Now, I've finally gotten it (after a little motivation from Otis).
As for exactly what is going to go there. I'm not entirely sure.
As for exactly what is going to happen to this blog, I'm not entirely sure either. One thing is for certain, likely there will be some overlap between the two. Perhaps a meshing of the two together will be more appropriate. Perhaps when I'm not busy studying (procrastinating) for this week's midterms I'll sit down and html up myself something I'm relatively happy with.

2008-03-06T12:30:00.002-04:00

Midterm season again and the first results have starting spilling back.

Not entirely impressive results.
The results in one test were so poor and the professor so surprised (obviously not quite in touch with his teaching method, or what material he was reviewed) was forced to downgrade the total weight of the midterm on the entire term mark.

Ah well.

In other news, I've been spec-ing out the purchase of a new manual transmission Nissan Xterra. I can quite easily afford it with the new low-low-low financing/rates it as long as the rent accommodations or get a low mortgage in Calgary.

The only thing that seems to be souring the realization of this dream is the price of oil. It's now climbing over 105$/bbl and while that's fantastic news for my rainy day fund which has ascertained and all time high, the price of gas is expected to top $1.40/L this summer.

I might be forced to bite down on my hippy hatred and go the way of a hybrid car. At this point, with the cheaper models available and the tremendous boasts in mileage over SUVs' it might be stupid to go for style and power over such savings. Plus, there's always the green-vehicle rebate.

Lastly, my strategy to apply for a job a day has essentially developed into a before-bed ritual. I've started working my way down the list of 100 best employers. Luckily most of these companies have positions/offerings in the Bay area :)

2008-03-02T01:12:00.002-04:00

Something happened a couple of days ago... something just snapped inside of me. Am I happy where I'm going?

I couldn't answer yes. But I certainly would never say no.
The thing is I never looked.

I was told by everyone what I was getting was awesome, but my office doesn't look anything like this. The city I'm going to doesn't make me giggle when I think about moving there. There's a lot of thoughts floating around in space.. "What if I went here".... "what if I worked here"... the what ifs pile up...

And part of me, though it is only a small part, is starting to wonder if I have mistakenly short changed myself.

So I've got a month left before I finish school.
I'm going to apply to at least one company for one job every single day. Even if it's not an amazing sounding job but a good company, I'm going to send in the resume.

As per my facebook religion: fortune, glory, and adventure.

So, let's see what happens.
Plus, I really do want an office where I can take an escalator up and a tube slide down.

2008-02-28T21:55:00.003-04:00

Everyone has a place they've always thought of in their mind's eye as paradise. For me, for the longest time (I'm not sure why or when it started) it has been San Francisco.

So a few weeks ago with a broken collar bone forcing my ski trips cancellation and an Air Canada seat sale providing the last bit of needed motivation, I booked tickets and went about having a spontaneous adventure.

I don't think I've ever had such an incredible time. You can see the photos here, or miniaturized
in the slideshow below.

I can only say it so many times. You should go. It is such a beautiful city.

2008-02-17T00:26:00.003-04:00

It's no secret to anyone that my siblings and I are worlds apart on essentially everything.

Generally, I identify much more with my parents and my friends than my brother or sister. Where the tremendous differences were originally seeded is not entirely clear. However, it can be said without a doubt that those subtle seeds did indeed blossom into something resembling polar opposites.

That said, I will admit this post is more of a vent than some reckoning with the reality of my intrafamily-intersibling dynamic. It's been 6 months since my brother moved in and assumed the role of room mate. Unfortunately, the only thing to celebrate at this 6 month mark is that I've finally lost my patience. The grocery runs, the stacks of dishes, the litter of pans left about are stinging. But perhaps worst is that even with a broken collar bone, the sole responsibility of cleaning, shopping, and laundering has fallen to me.

Only 2 more months I suppose.
San Francisco in 7 days.

Setting Off

2008-02-15T09:34:00.003-04:00

The last year without a doubt has been brutal. It's worn me down further than anything before, but now the end really is in sight.

On Valentines Day Eve we did something fairly insane.
We booked tickets, leaving for Frankfurt on Apr 20, and returning from London on May 26. Not bad for transversing half the world I suppose.

Despite the fact that departure is 2 months away, I'm almost ready to scream with excitement. I'm finally going to get to backpack Europe. I'll finally make that tour through country I've only seen in movies, the stuff that serves as the backdrop to fairy tales and Fantasy. I'll be hiking in the Alps, skiing in the spring and drinking until I can't hold anymore.

I remember the rushing vacuum that filled my space after I graduated math. Of course I had jobs lined up within the depths of the government and I could have done well enough, but disappointment hung in the air from having done something that lacked my passion. Yet, that paled in comparison to the disappointment I distinctly recall of no grad trip.

Yaaaa! I'm finished! Thank you Mr. Chancellor for my Degree! Poof!!
That was it. Everyone went off to grad schools elsewhere immediately and none of my other good friends were yet finished school. I didn't have an exit sequence.

Now, I've finished something I love... or perhaps the ERTW brainwashing has finally taken hold. Either way, everything I've ever wanted (in modern times) is finally falling into place.

So with tickets bought, I've splurged on the lonely Planet guide of Western Europe. At the top of the list as Austria, Switzerland, Italy and Greece.

Now where else, what else, and how much :)

Ah well.
This will all really have to take a back seat for a week.
I'm going to San Francisco next weekend, and the finally plan for indulgence still needs to be hammered out.

hmmm: beach, aquarium, run the golden gate bridge, get hammed at fisherman's wharf, dance with my girlfriend in as many places as I can, and perhaps, If I get the balls.... surfing.

just got a fleeting thought.... where was I last term at week 5? :)

Harley's Little Brother

2007-12-16T17:53:00.000-04:00

"Surprise!"

"What!? That's not mine... really?!"

My dad's birthday is Christmas eve, and as such it's been his life long burden to endure the "double-gifting" or the "combination present" of b-day and christmas.

So this time, much to the despair of my bank account, we got him a pure bred brother for Harley.

While the name is still yet to be determined, the little guy is so black is mesmerizing. It's almost as if he's just a hole in space. The eyes are coal, the fur doesn't reflect.

Of course, Harley and The little puppy have taken about sowing an endless path of destruction. He's small, but he doesn't back down. They've been tumbling, tugging, tearing, and of course peeing everywhere.

One madly swinging tail was bad enough. Not with two, things are breaking at a near world record pace.

:) It's great.

Different

2007-12-14T12:42:00.000-04:00

I've never been away from home for this long.

This time it was effectively a year before I came back.

Sure I was here for 4 days in may and 2 days at the end of August, but now everything has a strange feeling.

Perhaps it'll wear off.

It started with flying in. Maybe it was the 5am rise, and the 8am approach over the city. However, we the plane swung out in a wide turn over cape spare (as it always does) the cliffs looked different. It felt like it was the first time I was seeing them. I felt giddy and awe struck with the accompanying thought "This is amazing, I've never seen this before".

Then it continued with Harley not recognizing me right away. Of course that soon changed with some exciting jumping, scrapping the hardwood floor, and my parents shouting for him to get back in the kitchen. "Get in there you little $#%#$%#$ #$%#$ #$%#@#$% $%#^%$ $%^&$@ #$". But still, he'd never not recognized me before.

Moving along, the city's different. The people are different.

It's certainly more cosmopolitan here every time I come back. There's a star bucks downtown now, it nearly always has a lineup. There's every manner of breakfast joint, all of which are packed with groups of women that remind me of my mother and her co-workers and friends. Then of course there's the high powered business luncheons and the suits, the lawyers, that all seem so out of place.

What's happened?

This used to be a sleepy little place in the winter. Sure there's cut throat shopping and such like any other place, but downtown was always kinda nice and peaceful. Now it's like everywhere else.

Is that good? It's proving not to be much of an escape anymore.

Well, either way, it's not bad, especially if it's not a good, but it's certainly different.

Perhaps even startling so.

At least there's lots of snow to play with harley in :)

Escalating Quickly

2007-12-13T17:19:00.000-04:00

Something sort of happened.

It wasn't entirely unexpected, and absolutely wished for.

But now it's happened and it's escalating quickly.

Might as well race to it and meet it head on.

Accelerating to Attack speed.

Decompression

2007-12-12T11:48:00.000-04:00

Uh oh.

I've signed up for a Half-marathon.

I figure it probably wouldn't have been enough of a challenge before.. no you see, with me being in the worst shape of my life it should be interesting... or of course, it could kill me. But I'm not really entertaining that idea.

So I've got 9 weeks from now until race day.

The one good thing here, at least according to basic thermodynamics is that in order not to freeze to death, my body will have to burn way more energy. End result, I'll lose the 15 lbs I've put on during the past four months by living at school and surviving on fried foods.

This christmas season is setting up to be somewhat different from last year. Drinking everyday? probably not.

and you see, this all works very well within my plan. My plan you ask?

well it's simple, I plan to...

oops. Not sure who's reading this anymore :)

plan to come later.

T-minus 16 hours

2007-12-06T20:08:00.000-04:00

Freedom is so close the euphoria is beginning to set in. It's making it exponentially more difficult to study, which isn't all that great given the first 2 exams out of 3 this session has been the stuff of nightmares.

Yes, I'm procrastinating.. actually I just woke up from a nap. One I very comfortably took on top of my binder. Sure, I was panicked for a second when I woke up with pencil on my face, but it faded as I the reality of the situation set back in.

I don't really care anymore. I'm going to pass. The teacher's have essentially all but openly admitted that they take it harder on our year's class than any before and probably any after. It swings back to 2 things really, a school obsessed with it's image and the influence of the infamous double cohort year on the quality of recruitment.

Why should it have to be made harder for my class because there are more smart people? Should we get harder tests than all the other years just so that our average hovers around 65%? Does a high average say the school is doing something wrong, or does it just say that this class whips ass compared to the others.

It hardly seems fair, but then again, things rarely are when it's about image.... if that's actually what it's about. Strange how when it's not a Respected institution ganging up on you because you're smart it generally called bullying, discrimination, or something else criminal sounding. Either way, the motivation is stolen when you hear that its going to be harder because you're better.

One more exam to go tomorrow and that's it. After noon it's all over and these 4 months will fall into line on a shelf somewhere waiting to be included in my memoirs. They'll be filed along side the other array of 'life's worst' notes and I'll draw on them when I think something is shitty in the future. Hard to think what could compare.

And of course, there's Plan B. If this whole bit doesn't work out, there's always the marines... or perhaps the rangers. That could be fun, if not honorable.

2 Week Mark

2007-11-22T10:51:00.000-04:00

I've vanished for the last several weeks simply in an attempt to stay afloat this term. Now with only two weeks left until I'm finished (exams and all) I'm finding it hard not to look back and wonder how I've done as well as I have without incurring some sort of permanent damage: ulcers, high blood pressure, a heart attack?

The stress has been insane, the days have been fueled and survived solely on coffee. In perspective, my summer saw me at Starbucks once, perhaps twice a day. That was my entire coffee intake during a full day.

Now I've peaked. Current consumption levels are at 3 cups (home brew) before I even get to school, which is followed by at least 2 star bucks runs and perhaps a school lobby coffee vendor blend as well. Still, I feel tired. I'm wearing thin, approaching a breaking point I previously figured lay way before this.

To date, this term has seen a dozen nights where I've been up to 3 am, 1 All-nighter, and a couple of 5am reporting writing session (2 hours of sleep).

I suppose though, the biggest disappointment thus far has been our design project. While it continues to push ahead much to my personal satisfaction, perhaps even to my personal elation, it continues to get slaughtered by our presiding professor. I suppose its the biggest disappointment given that its the thing I am the proudest about right now, and it's defeat sort of registers on a personal level.

2007-11-09T00:00:00.000-04:00

It's been a weird week.
I've been up to 1am most nights... and then out of bed again at 7am... always feeling tired.

Yesterday I went to bed at 4am and woke up at 8am feeling the most refreshed I have all week.

My mind has been spinning intense webs of thought and it's finally done something.

there's been a reignition of an old flame... perhaps the single best thing that has happened over the last 3 months :D

Cool vs Cancer?

2007-11-01T10:37:00.001-03:00

I learned something yesterday. Being tall puts a person at an increased risk for developing certain types of cancer.

Someone's going to have to visit the guy that makes up these cultural associations with cool.
Taller is Cooler, Smoking is Cool (or used to), it's O.K. to be a obese.

Strangely though, cancer isn't cool.

2007-10-29T19:42:00.001-03:00

That's a bottomless hole.
The very same one that has swallowed my GPA this term.

I've been upset with school before, but I'm as close to being completely fed up as I've ever been. This was supposed to be the final stretch, not the ultimate fight for survival.

The 30% midterm last week was an absolute slaughter, triumphantly hoisting itself to the honored place of "Most Difficult" and "Most Impossible" test of my 9 year school career.

Tomorrow's the same deal. 25% of my term in the morning, 30% at night.

I guess to put it all in perspective, I'm feeling about as satisfied with school right now as I felt when I left the movie The Thin Red Line. It had all the hype, all the promise, and all the disappointment.

2007-10-21T10:22:00.000-03:00

It's kind of weird. I've been really busy all term, but it's all been "work" in the traditional sense. I've been burning pencils up and running my calculator nonstop as I've been fighting to meet the incessant line of assignment due dates and lab write ups.

Today It just feels weird. I'm not really using the pencil. It feels like it's been forever since I just sat down and read to learn. I have the entire week ahead cleared from work like due to some effort late last week. Now I just need to study. I need to learn and actually remember this stuff so I can reproduce it on the 30% midterm this week. Unfortunately, this next week has 2 more 30% midterms and the week after has yet another. It's not going to be an enjoyable couple of weeks. I just wish I could study, I don't want to do this, and as simple as that sounds, it's having quite a devastating effect on my efforts.

Yesterday it was pouring rain and utterly miserable. Perfect study weather, However, I spent most of it doing house work and chatting to my brother and friends. Of course, it was terrible for a reason, a hurricane was passing south of us.
Today it's hot and humid. Actually, several times I woke up last night to readjust my fan it was so warm. There's not a cloud in the sky and the place reminds me of paradise. There's a tropical green hue to the water in the harbor and the entire place is erriely silent. (well that's not entirely true.. I heard a siren a little while ago) But still, it's not a good day for studying with the blinds open... but I can't shut out the sun, I haven't seen it in nearly a week, I've been stuck inside sooo long..

The Seasonal Update.

2007-10-20T16:25:00.000-03:00

This has essentially become the symbol of this term. This emblem has become the logo (at least for now) of our design team.

I'm fairly excited about the project, which is described here on this fairly basic webpage.
(I'm struggling to recall any html as is fairly obvious from the page)

I spoke to a former supervisor about the project in an attempt to get a handle on defining some of the requirements of the design. The response was nothing of astounding. Within hours I had e-mails from my former supervisors and essentially everyone I had ever worked with or spoken to at my old place of work. E-mails ranged from opinions on operation, complaints about current tech, well wishing and offers to help. Of course, this project is now sitting posed to devour the remainder of what little time I have to relax.

This term at school has somehow managed to explode.
Of course, it's the result of our schools administrative genius. As the terms are setup, the last year was fairly moderate with respect to difficulty. As a result everyone in my class probably did better than engineering students in similar programs at similar levels of completion. Hence, when we apply for jobs during the middle of recruiting season (now) we have higher marks (as we apply with last years marks) then our competition and we all get really cool jobs.

Unfortunately, now we're paying for this favor with the prospect of tripping at the finish line looming over us. This term has been so brutal with it's demands for time thus far, I've only managed these handful of posts between sleeping, eating, and schooling. This week alone I got to sleep one night before 1am and I shattered my "at school time" record by setting a new high point of leaving at 1:55am after an 8:30am start.

In short I hate school right now, but it's nothing I hadn't heard before, all my friends that went through Memorial's program hated their home stretch as well. Ah well.

To finish off this discontinuous post, I might as well finally admit I've taken a full time job with Shell. This means my dream of living on a coast is delayed for the time being. The details as to my career plan are still being fleshed out but I figured a start at a company willing to offer me the exact job I wanted is a better start than most.

Already I'm finding it hard to tolerate the "bullshit" of school given that my entry into the real world is cemented. I hate the assignments that serve no purpose except to have something due for a course that is outdated and senseless for my career. Plus, the dreams of how I'm going to spend the next couple of years are intoxicating. I'm feeling the list is developing like this:

Purchase a condo/house
Get a Season Ski Pass:P
Get heavily into mountaineering... ultimate goal to climb Mt. McKinley within 5 years
Purchase a Motorcycle
Motorcycle roads trips: Grand Canyon, Alaska, and Right down the west coast to Tijuana.
Finally build a Millennium competition machine. (It can't be any harder than what I'm doing now...right? :P)

I've worked the economics as they stand now, with a 35% contingency (Thanks Exxon For the lessons in conservative economic forecasting) for cost overruns for a house purchase and stuff I want to do in my first year. Replacing booze consumption with outdoor Sports and activities I should save tonnes. Plus, without bragging too much, I'll have 5 weeks of vacation to blow :D

now.. I just need to keep School and these stress levels from turning me into some fat F%^&.

Here We GO!

2007-09-24T12:58:00.000-03:00

I know there is probably going to be a million nerds posting something like this today... but what the hell!

(Note the orange sticker on the wrapping "Do not Sell before 9/25/07)

Well FutureShop shipped this on Friday and I got it at 9am this morning! Boo YA!

Now I'm the first nerd to get it, post this picture and play it.

THis point in time, will probably coincide exactly with a sharp drop in my marks for this term!
WHOA!

Anatomy of an Aggressive Recruitment

2007-09-16T14:46:00.001-03:00

I'm somewhat stunned at the pace things are beginning to take with respect to recruitment.

As per my last post, I received a call on Friday with a job offer. I didn't have to say yes, I just had to say "not no" and the offer would be in the mail.

It's actually surprising to see one of the largest companies in the world move this quickly, after all, my work term only finished officially two weeks ago.

On top of all of that, 6 company officials are flying into this city (5000 kilometers away from where they work) to take myself and the other recruits from my class out for dinner.

It's an aggressive strategy and somewhat shocking. This company is well known and well respected and yet they don't take anything for granted. Other oil company's of the same size or bigger haven't even closed their solicitation of job applications and this company is already wrapping things up.

The only thing they're holding out on with respect to Details is the salary they are going to offer. The reason of course, is so they match of out price the job offers that are made official from their competition next month.

The only thing I can't help but think is, this offer is so far out in front of everything else. While it's exactly what I asked for, if I accept even before the others have put something together to even initiate interviewing, will I be missing out?

*gulp*

I need a contract lawyer to read over this with me :)

Whoa!

2007-09-14T18:34:00.000-03:00

I was in the middle of cleaning up a culinary adventure.
Sure I was wearing an apron, bottle of Fantastik in my hand and a tomato sauce covered j-cloth in the other when the phone rang.

I saw the caller ID and immediately knew who it was and what they were going to say.

I picked it up and managed to stack my lungs with air, "Hello?"

"Hi, Is Colum Around?"

The conversation continued and reached it's point very quickly. I could suddenly see the light at the end of the tunnel. School was about to end and the real world was about to envelop me.

"We'd like to offer you a job... it's essentially exactly what you asked for, Facilities Engineering in Calgary under your previous General Manager."

I almost dropped the phone. I'd made an ultimatum before I had left with one of the largest companies in the world, surprisingly it had worked. They bent their rules.

If I could huge my old supervisors now I would.
Thanks so much!

Calgary here I come.

The New Place

2007-09-04T09:43:00.000-03:00

We're finally all settled in... myself and my brother that is.

Though I must admit, I'm so happy with our new place that I couldn't care who I was living with. The view of this city and the harbor is simply incredible. The morning sun beams in and gives the office a cheerful warmth.

Off to the left is the vast greenery of the citadel and to the right is the northwest arm. Directly infront is the view we've grown accustomed to fairly quickly, the harbor filled with gracefully moving cruise ships and sailboats.

I love it!
And of course, as before and as always, the door is always open to visitors.

Check out the place Here on my picasaweb album.

2007-08-10T16:28:00.000-03:00

One of my co-workers said something to me today that really got my mind rolling.

"Doctor" I said. "Do you know what the difference in the test quality is for values of increasing dead oil viscosity?"

The Doctor, a final term Ph.D candidate said. "No, sorry, I'm not really familiar with it."

so naturally I continued. "Geeze, some Doctor you are."

"Well I don't know everything!" He laughed. "The smartest people aren't the ones who know a lot. The smartest people on the planet are those that know how and where to find everything."

Then the conversation went into how google maybe the smartest entity on the planet.... and then of course it rang home, they made their billions inside of 10 years. Not too shabby.. and super wealther is definately a quality exhibited by the smartest of people.

2007-08-07T22:20:00.000-03:00

Today has taken an interesting turn.

My ultra urban bachelor pad, which I have worked hard for 2 years to define as my own is gone.

In it's wake is a new 1,600 sqft two bedroom apartment. Same building, same people, same beautiful location, just twice as big.

The catch... my soon to be room mate... my brother.

I'm not regretting telling my parents it was ok. I think he really does want to try hard at academics and get into medschool. I think a move will be good for him.

I just hope this is more than a split second feeling for him.
I hope it's a determination that here to last.

I'm slightly sad. I've lost a lot today.
just a balance for the weekend I guess.

2007-07-27T17:40:00.000-03:00

Holy Crap!

Unbelievably, I'm in the dying days of summer. I have just over 3 weeks left here in this Amazingly Fun City and I'm scanning through photos trying to figure out what happened to all of my time, and somewhat more importantly, all of my money :)

Interestingly, I've been busy dong stuff every night and every weekend. This isn't something that even happens back in Newfoundland, but regardless of the incredible blast it's been, it's taking a toll.

I haven't spoken to my family in ages, I have posted on this blog 3 times in the last 3 months and I'm somewhat out of touch with the rest of my life.

I just find it incredible how the people you are around can entirely, and rather easily, redefine your priorities in life. Perhaps I let it slide like this just because it is a temporary realignment of sorts, soon to all come out in the wash

3 weeks more isn't much longer.
...And course, in just another week I get to hug Otis and Heather Again and once again scope out what is perhaps the foremast candidate for a place to live (Vancouver)

2007-07-02T17:22:00.000-03:00

I've been doing a bit of reading around lately, but not a lot of writing. It seems like I'm not the only one. Everyone's growing up, spending time in the important places.

I'd almost forgotten about this little outlet until I flipped passed a friends blog and saw the link back to here. I click it followed it back and turned a little red with embarrassment at just how neglected this site has become.

I looked this page over and wondered why I can't seem to spend any time on it anymore. Has facebook sucked up all of this web time? Or Perhaps it's because I've been spending most of my time either at work, commuting, training for this big race or mountaineering. Of course, there's also the partying which seems to have mushroomed from the near zero factor it was at in the spring.

So really, a post that says a whole lot of nothing except that I'm still alive and that I'm going to start posting.

2007-05-14T02:40:00.000-03:00

[End Absence]

This move to Calgary has been completely different from the last one.

Myself and my roommate have firmly entrenched ourselves into a "Van Wilder" style of existence in the local university's residence.

It's simply insane how much partying and drinking goes on, and oddly enough I find that more than half of the time I suggest we do it. I guess it's the whole deal with residence.

We're Rezzies! :)
On a similar note, I will never put my kids into residence unless it's an ivy league school :)

My job has come together somewhat. But two weeks in I'm already thinking of my list of contacts to start soliciting job offers for the real world. I've already got a couple of names bearing heavily in the front of my mind and I'll certainly be calling them as the summer progresses toward the half mark.

I've also just paid my 43$ registration fee for the HSBC Calgary Marathon. Right now I feel like a fatso, to put it lightly. Tomorrow's purchases are going to include a backpack, a bathroom scale, and a calender. I've got 40 days to roll up into competitive shape. We'll see how it works...

I've got too much to say.. even more to avoid saying.

So I'll cut it here and be somewhat more diligent in my posting of developments as they occur.

Freedom

2007-04-18T11:09:00.000-03:00

I'm all done.

Well I've actually been done for a couple of Days but I can't really remember most of the time since then :)
Now I'm back home in cozy freezing cold foggy icy snow covered drizzly St. John's, and I'm wondering why I ever missed the place. Of course, It was 10 degrees without a cloud in the sky in Halifax.

I'm looking forward to a good work term with the 2nd largest company in the world this time :) and a top 10 employer in Canada. Not to mention partying with thousands of Cow-Folk, A trip to see my beloved Otis and Heather, and maybe... just maybe some Vegas.

But first things first. I need to accelerate my memory wipe of this term, and means putting myself through something more tortuous and frightening than this passed term... Herein lies the secret purpose of this trip to Florida...Busch Gardens, and specifically, Skeikra.

Watch the Movie (.mov)

Terrible timeline

2007-04-05T12:14:00.000-03:00

It's the dying days of the term and it's all coming together at once.

Of course, this is the bad kind of coming together.

Monday, April 9: 3 hour Heat transfer Exam.... must do well

Wednesday April 11: 3 hour system dynamics Exam.... must do ok (well not required, aced midterm)

Thursday April 12: 3 hour thermodynamics Exam... should be easy, just need to pass to get an A

Saturday,April 14: 3 hour machine design Exam... will bomb, exam requires design of a machine in detail within the 3 hours (gulp).. last year's exam was a simple one liner right? It simply read... "design a powered can opener... go!"

Sunday & monday, April 13,14: Pack up my Halifax life for 4 months, and fly to St. John's

April 18th: Fly to Orlando

April 28th: Fly to Calgary and disappear into the Corporate world.

:) Just one week to get through.

Change in Plans

2007-03-31T14:43:00.000-03:00

:)
Well as bad as school was.. it got a lot worse. The last 2 weeks have been a blur of late nights, scrambling to do assignments at the last minute, and 4 cups of starbucks a day....
But finally the end is in sight.

New learning had ended, exams loom with a start scheduled for next monday.

But the big news is my change in vacation plans.
I got a call late last week from home prodding me for an opinion on where to go for a last minute family vacation. The options were laid out.

Vegas..... mmmmmm...eeeehhhhh.
Ireland.. that sounds nice.
London.... mmmm, we've been there before
New York... I like New York, think I can see the csi set? "No, next option is."
go back to Florida... "Whoa!"

Images of infinite roller coasters.... sun... beaches... warmth... humidity... and of course.. csi miami and Horatio Cane:P

"YES!"

Florida :)

now I just need to find me a pair of those bond sunglasses

2007-03-18T12:28:00.000-03:00

I'm nearing the end in a seemingly endless stream of Sundays.

Each one powered by coffee while the sun beams down outside. It never seems to rain on a Sunday while I'm sitting at my dining table with a fort of text books, a couple of calculators, and a fist full of my hair, studying for yet another bullshit midterm.

The idea of buying sailboat, starting a vineyard, and enjoying life in sun and warmth is very very tempting.

I'll start my countdown to paradise on Tuesday.

The jury's still out on changing my entire set of life goals :)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2007-03-18T01:28:00.000-03:00

I'm a little more Irish Today than usual.

This morning I woke up with resolve. I was determined to get my systems assignment finished so I could start in on studying for my Monday midterm.

.. but the phone rang. "Come on! Cooome ooonnnnn!!! It's St. Paddy's!! You're friggin' name is Colum for crying out loud!"

So naturally, I gave in to the lightest of peer pressure.

We walked down through a heavy, saturating fog, skidding across black ice toward the pub. Surprisingly, there was no line up, but of course it was before dinner, I hadn't eaten.

Pints of the dark stuff started flowing relentlessly and soon a band fired up. To my surprise, I knew most of the songs and we all started singing (bantering) along, pounding pint glasses on the table top and stomping as heavily as we could.

It didn't take long, but soon the place was standing room only. I couldn't really tell you what happened in between that and just before now. I might be able to tomorrow.

What I do recall is a classic event I haven't seen played out in ages. It actually made me home sick.

One of the fellas (I hesitate to say friend), began to talk to a girl, a girl who was undoubtedly, much too hot to be there alone and obviously a girl friend of someone. He didn't just talk to her, he put on his best Irish accent and brought her over to our tiny overcrowded table.

"Lads, Meet Melissa" - lads, real original...

"Melissa, these are my mates, That's Sean, David there, Jules, Thomas, and Frank."

I smiled as he pointed to me, it wasn't Francois, but close enough. "Frank's actually from Australia."

I almost coughed. What the hell, but instead, I put my Guinness pint up and drowned my smile in a bitter swig, choking it down, trying to get the balls to take up the roll that had been given to me.

"Melissa!" I said, my best Aussie pouring forth. "Whatever this bloke has told you, don't believe a word, I'm the real gentleman here." I said, Taking her hand and giving it a gentle shake. "Care to have a drink with us?"

To my awe, she laughed and waved to a couple of her friends and sat down, pulling up a chair across from me and beside "Hugh" (the name he had assigned himself).

"Hugh" kept his eye on his prize while we went back to drinking. Then something happened.

"Hugh" stood up and raced to the bathroom. Perhaps, unsurprisingly, a bouncer evidently
followed him in.

About 10 minutes later, with a bouncer under his arm, a now somewhat paler, more incoherent, "Hugh", missing his Irish accent passed by our table.

"Sorry boys, Your friend's gotta go, are you going with him?"

I looked across the table at the girl he was talking to all night and said with a smile, "Sorry, Looks like we're done for tonite..."

We all stood up, thanked the bouncer for whatever reason and assumed the bouncers load. My Australian accent now dropped and with a man on either said of our fallen man, we walked out and began the long struggle up Sackville Street.

"I'm.. really sorry guys..." He struggled to say, obviously totally canned, spitting every couple of seconds.

I laughed. "No worry, I've gotta study tomorrow anyways."

"Ya, we're all done anyways.. It was a good night.. excellent ending!" 'Jules' laughed.

"Shit" He said, stumbling up the hill. "I didn't get the chick's phone number!"

"Don't sweat it." I said, passing him my cellphone. "She programmed in her number for you."

"Haha, unbelievable!" "Hugh" laughed, pulling out his own phone to transfer the number.

"F--k that, It's probably a fake"

Aloha

2007-03-09T21:48:00.000-04:00

Perhaps the best part of having a girlfriend on the other side of the world is that you get to meet half way.

Now that a vacation destination has finally be decided upon, I can kick my day dreams into full swing and start reading up on how to surf.

Hawaii here I Come!

A perfect start to an Albertan summer.

Flu season

2007-03-03T17:23:00.000-04:00

I was skeptical when I considered getting a flu shot in October.
But riding the a commuter train to work every morning filled with sneezing coughing people quickly changed my mind.

This week has been probably one of the worst I've ever had while in school. The sheer work load has been terrific. My test results are being returned in order of increasing pathetic-ness. Thursday afternoon while I wrote the 2nd of 3 tests I had a slight scratch in the back of my throat. Thursday night I had a fever with accompanying twisting spiraling nightmares. Friday I somehow managed to write my last test and made it home.

I haven't been out of bed since.

and to make matters worse... I finished "Gears Of War" in the first hour of being bed ridden. Now I'm bored too :)

the Moral of the story? Take the 18 dollars you would spend on a flu shot and buy a case of beer :)
This is one of the worst flus I've ever had.

hrrmmmphhff

2007-02-28T17:07:00.000-04:00

This April will be the end of my 8th year in university schooling.
When I think about it, and all the experience, it doesn't really seem like that long of a time... well, not until I put a number of years to it.

Strangely enough, during my 4 years as a Pure math student I usually enjoyed going to class. Each professor respected student work load and scheduled tests so there wasn't ever a "hell week" per say. I looked forward to seeing my professors, solving some interesting problems,learning new methods and I had a whole slew of electives I could choose from. The bottom line was it was enjoyable.

Contrary to that, school now has become essentially unbearable. The tests are ridiculously hard to the point where "an average student should get 65". I don't want 65, and I don't want to live at my desk. I also get to pick 3 electives, as opposed to the 8 I had in math. I'm having great difficulty motivating myself to learn things I'll never use again. But of course, in the off chance that I did need to solve for the heat transfer from a non-uniform object at transient conditions, well I'd use a computer program, not spend the better of a day scratching through a pad of paper.

Here's to the wonderful feeling of being an engineering student.
and to the feeling associated with generating what may quite possibly be the first test mark I'm ashamed of.
(test just completed.. yet to be graded)

So, instead of relaxing, and comforting myself that the mark will probably be 'curved'.. I have to study for 2 more tests.

Life lesson: Always dress to die

2007-02-27T11:43:00.000-04:00

We stood in the Deer Lake airport waiting forever to pass through security. Apparently, the man in front of us wasn't aware of the havoc that steel toe boots could cause a metal detector.

After a few scans, the Security guard asked him to take off his boots and put them through the x-ray. He slid one off after the other, and to the horror of everyone there, his socks were wretched. Holes everywhere. Different toes poking out of different holes, no heels, an ankle showing here, another on the other foot. As I fought back laughing, my Dad leaned over to me.

"There's a life lesson for you, Always wear clean, fit socks, because you never know when you're going to have to take your shoes off." I burst out laughing, the poor guy turned crimson.
...
This morning, I evidently slept through my alarm for 90 minutes. I woke up with just 20 minutes to get ready and run to class. Somehow I managed it, though I was quite hungry during the last stretch of my thermodynamics lecture.

On the walk home, my head swelled with panic from the looming spectre of 3 midterms (weds, thurs, and fri) A voice called out. I looked up and saw a girl, midway in a street crossing. "Hey!! Do you have a second?"

I smiled and stopped, figuring she was going to ask the time. I started to pull my sleeve up to show my watch when she said something totally unexpected.

"I'm... (I didn't catch her name), I'm the fashion reporter for the Daily News..... I write an column every Thursday where I hit the street and snap photos of people the are well dressed.... Do you have time for a couple of questions on your ensemble and some photos?"

I started to flush... "Ummm.. I'm pretty camera shy..." I managed, trying not to let my eyes stray to the visible ends of my mountain of hair, which of course was badly in need cutting.

"Oh come on!!!" She said... "It'll be great!"

Thoughts started to race through my head. 'F---K! The daily news, that's a tabloid, this could be a prank.... shit.. it could be a prank anyways!"

But then a thought came to mind... "Who cares? After you bomb this set of tests, a career in fashion, no matter how shitty it might be... may be all you have left."

"Sure I guess, why not" I said, trying to smile... before I knew it, I was giving my name, describing each piece I was wearing (brand name, place of purchase) and price.

finally, "And Colum... what's your favorite place to shop?"

*PANIC!*.. "Umm.... ummm... *pause*, Le Chateau?" I said, expecting her to laugh.... I waited, and she looked up, actually impressed..

"Excellent. They really do have a lot of great stuff there for guys now don't they?"

After some more small talk, I continued on my walk home to bury myself in the books, but I couldn't help but smile and think what I would say to my brother..

"The real difference between you and me is that I make this look good."

*fingers crossed for it not to be a prank :)*

2007-02-24T13:03:00.000-04:00

I was sitting in the one of the most architecturally remarkable places I'd ever been. It was an airport I had once been in for a few hours awaiting the voyage home.

Sure, it could have been named after someone a little more worthy of the distinction, but it didn't take away from its magnificence.

Last night my dream, fueled by intoxication, my stress, or a healthy mix of both placed me there again. Nothing in particular happened, in retrospect it seems like it was quite a short dream. I just sat there really, admiring everything around me, my feet kicked up on the chair opposite of me. "This is what engineering is all about" I thought, or something like it, feeling a peculiar mix of elation and dread.

Curiously enough, last night, before the diversionary drinking started, I calculated my ecological footprint. I did it twice, first using my home away from home as the basis, then using my family home as the base. Strangely, I'm more of an ecological glutton away from home. Of course, I tried my hardest to be accurate, and it might very well have been my 117.5 hours of [accurately] estimated flying time that tipped the balance. Of course, this would more than likely be much worse if I could accurately account for the number of delays I've suffered and the time I've spent in holding patterns over airports for one reason or another. The average Canadian consumes 8.8 Hectares of biologically productive land. I evidently consume 17.3 Hectares and I don't even have a car, I walk everywhere!

Give it a shot. You can calculate your Ecological Footprint right here. It's worth the awareness, or at the least, the surprise.

Somehow, last night over yet another game of Wii Tennis (where I tried unsuccessfully to avenge myself from last week's humiliating defeat) my role in the Earth's ecological devastation entered the conversation. The two of them quickly brought the laptop out into the tv room and plugged in their estimates, 12ish and 9 Hectares each.

"Why are you so high?!" One of them said, somewhat concerned.

Suspecting my flying time as the the source of the anamoly I said"What did you pick for flight hours?"

"10 hours"... "Ya, same for me."

"Oh."

"Why what did you pick?"

"100"

"Jesus."

"You've probably been in more airports than buildings I've been in." He smirked.

"What? so?" I said between groundstrokes, the computer player kicking my ass. "I like air planes."

"I like Planet Earth" he said jokingly. But it still stung.

2007-02-23T10:26:00.000-04:00

It's the seventh day of training for a race filled summer and I'm glad to report that I haven't injured myself yet. Of course, today is the first physical day, the first six were spent starting in on a set of new dietary plan and sleeping habits. Unbelievably, the sleeping was much harder to get a hold of; I still want to stay up later and wake up later.

I suppose it is not everyday that one walks away from something they pictured them always doing. Maybe that's why I like this sunrise picture so much. Or maybe it's just the colors.

I had a very "productive" talk yesterday with my partner in crime. After more idea tossing than I care to recount, it would seem that my plans for relocation to the American pacific coast are on hold, at least temporarily for an indefinite stop over in the Canadian rockies. Of course, the idea of a return to Terre Neuve hasn't been completely discharged either. But why not hop into the pool where everyone wants me?... errr.. *cough*.. us,.. I mean why not hop in where everyone wants us?

Also, startling enough, thoughts of fatherhood have begun to creep into the forefront of my mind. No one has really talked about it in seriousness, so I'm beginning to wonder if some sort of genetic alarm clock has suddenly exploded in my head without providing me with the decency of a gentle awakening.

Frighteningly enough, this train of thought hasn't arrived at my station alone. There's been quite a bite of chatter and I suppose that's to be expected when you're first mission out into the real world consists of conquering the world.
Dare I say it?
*gulp*

Marriage...

2007-02-22T14:14:00.000-04:00

Home really is a wonderful place, even more so when you haven't been there for some time. But now, after having left again, with my feet squarely on the ground here I'm left thinking it's an entirely different place. With everyone save one of my best friends having moved away, it seems desolate, and somewhat lonely, not to mention all together sleepy and perhaps down right boring. But then again, a civilization crippling 50 cm snowfall didn't help much and I was suffering from a 4 day compound hangover, so I'll reserve judgment until my next passing through.

Last night, during my "last supper", The prospect of an "Austrian Alpine Vacation" presented itself somewhat unexpectedly. I was a little shocked to say, as the idea circled itself around the meatless dinner table. In between embarrassing stories of my untamed childhood, seemingly well researched factoids about Austria were changed.

"When Colum was 3 years old we were flying into New York. We ran into a bit of turbulence and Colum was sitting ahead of us with Dad. He unbuckled his seat belt and stood up on the seat with a big smile on his face. Then he turned around and leaned over the top of the chair and innocently asked, "Dad Ryan, is this plane going to crash?! We're going to crash aren't we?" as the lady sitting across the isle took our her rosary beads.

Then before any rebuttal was allowed, "You know, all of those scenes in the Sound of Music were shot in Salz burg and they have special tours which go around the city and visit all the sites."

"A liter of beer in Austria is cheaper than a bottle of beer here..."

I sat there between sips taking in the conversation, wondering if all my skeletons suddenly got together and decided to burst out of the closet at once.

Misguided Redirection

2007-02-21T10:38:00.000-04:00

Over the passed couple of weeks I've logged onto blogger more times than I can count.
I'm generally happy with the appearance of the blog, but that said I've been filling out my "doodle sheet" that sits next to my keyboard.

I've scribbled down a horde of different titles, post ideas, and pictures I should use for this blog. Of course, I haven't actually worked on putting any of my brainstorming products into action yet because every time I think of it, I rethink it, revise it, and I find myself besiged by a whole new armada of ideas.

Come to think of it, I'm happy with this just as it is.
"Don't fix it if it ain't broke"

This is the last day of my [real] break.
I head back to New Scotland in the morning to begin something hopefully not too much like cramming for 3 midterms next week.

It's funny that I always dread the return. But once I'm seated on the place (in a window seat) I'm filled with a sense of adventure and excitement. Not to mention the pleasant memories of attached to some of the sunrise flights I've had fleeing Newfoundland.

2007-02-20T17:27:00.000-04:00

Well, since I don't really have any reason in particular for not posting in more than a month, I'm going to ignore that fact completely.

I've just returned home from my most beloved place in Newfoundland; the west cost of the island.

I had remembered it as being an unspoiled place where it was troubling just how easy it was to get lost in the surroundings; green mountains looming on all sides, rivers, wildlife, and the total absence of anyone annoying and otherwise.

Luckily none of that has suddenly changed. However, I was somewhat surprised to see that a British invasion was well underway. Literally 200+ luxury homes have "sprung" up along the Humber river. They dot the shadows of the mountains in tight clusters, having appeared as quickly as one might expect mushrooms to suddenly grow from nothing.

I was awe struck to see it, homes rivaling and exceeding the value of anything in "town" with price tags pushing $2 million.

Well, it's nice to hear the British accents on the ski hill. It adds a certain measure of Classiness to the screams of people as they rush passed out of control, crashing ahead into eruptions of white powder.

Almost hurts to be over...
...actually, it does hurt.

2007-01-18T11:37:00.000-04:00

Ever have one of those moments where you kinda wish you had waited?
It's not full out regret, but you're wondering what could have happened if only you have not made that decision when you had.

We I've chosen my final workterm and that much is written in stone. I did so before the real competition for jobs had begun and all the jobs had been listed.

Now, somewhat to my disappointment, jobs from employers never before heard of in the coop world have come ringing in with tons of openings.

Amongs those at the top of my "I almost wish I could" list are General Dynamics and British Aerospace.

But like I said, it's not regret. I'm happy where I'm going because it's a powerhouse company, looks good on a resume, and isn't permanent :)

On a side note,
I'm going to reshape the content of this blog to be more or less, totally personal.
The details of the business end of things, such as my new research project will be found over at HalOtis

2007-01-16T23:48:00.000-04:00

Among other things, I'm becoming obsessed with time consumption.

Despite forcing myself to work and get the endless stream of assignments done by due, I'm finding that I don't have enough time in the days anymore to actually unwind.

I had planned to throw a good deal of my spare time at researching my HalOtis project, however that hasn't been the case.

Despite a 20 minutes here for reading with a glass of wine, or an hour there for beer and Xbox Live, I've been buried in books.

So, I've decided to add to the total amount of time available for consumption.
I'm religiously taking to the idea of a glass of wine a day.
God willing, it will extend my "natural" lifespan by 10-20%.
That, and I now have a wine dealer (fully licensed) in my building :)

2007-01-14T23:31:00.000-04:00

It's quickly becoming evident that this school term is going to be academically cruel.
Course work is piling up quicker than I can deal a blow to it and the difficulty of understanding of topics is mounting very rapidly.

I've also come to the realization (upon some reflection as to how I've gotten these co-op jobs) that my real job, the one I'm going see and be recruited for in the fall, will be strongly based upon my marks this term.

Even though I don't really know what I want for a job just yet, I'm learning what I don't want. Given the competition for engineers now, early offers will start sailing out in September and those will be based heavily upon the most recent grades achieved.. that being this term.

So it looks like I'm in for 3.5 months of serious sacrifice.
A good showing this term could quite possibly mean an excellent head start.
It seems to have meant that this time around.

2007-01-13T14:44:00.000-04:00

Things seem to be getting a little stale around these parts.

It might just be the shock of the sudden end to my year-long break and being thrust back into the relentless grind of school, but it's still pretty boring.

After a 4-month taste of some real money making, a warm summer of 2 courses a week, a trip to the good ol' American South, a month of vacation at home, and another work term followed by Christmas, the joy is lost in school somewhere.

I think a change in direction is needed here, just to freshen things up a little.
What that direction is.... well I'm still working on it :)

2006-12-31T13:27:00.001-04:00

It's the dawn of another year.
I'm at the "1 more year" point for school.

And I'm trying to decide what the plan should be for this year.
I'm still working out the final wording of the resolution, but it's going to follow along these lines:
Never turn down a good thing, make better use of my time,
and work hard to push my boundaries beyond that line that defines what "can be done"... and "what's too hard" or "impossible" for someone like me to do.

Actually, now that I look at it.. that wording isn't too shabby....

I wonder if it's going to come true...
apparently according to russian tradition, after I make the wish I have to slip a piece of chocolate into the champagne bottle. If the Chocolate floats, it's going to come true... if it sinks... well..

2006-12-11T00:33:00.000-04:00

So... umm.. shit! It's Christmas

It finally set in today. This has been the third consecutive Sunday that I've spent in the office, but today I returned home to find the house completely decorated and ready to go for christmas.

So, in accordance with this sudden change in living I think I should go over my Christmas anti-checklist.

No christmas presents bought- Check
No preparations made to move home - Check
No Christmas Clothes bought - Check
No Christmas Plans made - Check
It's freezing cold enough to be christmas - Check
Homesick - Check
Feeling Urge to get Drunk every night on George Street - Check
Project Work Not Completed - Check
Haven't gone to Church the last 2 weekends - Check

So Shit, I have about 10 days, well really 7, because nothing will happen on the last couple of days, and some will be lost to packing.. but either way, I don't have enough time left to do anything.

So I'll take some time (which I'll regret later) out of my feverish typing to make a new type of excuse I like the sound of...

I'm sorry mom.. I was busy making a million dollars... but it was for someone else.
So at least that's the christmas spirit in part... right? :)

2006-12-09T15:05:00.000-04:00

"Co-op Students contribute more than they cost"

That's the infamous line of self-promotion from the highly repubtable Dalhousie Univeristy School of Engineering.

Well now I understand just how scorchingly true it is.
On all my previous jobs I always politely noted that I wasn't being paid enough to do the useless (or never to be used useful) stuff I was doing. Whether it was lifeguarding or working on some "critical" development projects for the goverment, my contributions never had a dollar figure that I could compare with my salary.

I've just returned from cold, dark, and very northren Alberta. The transit time itself could have seen me in Prague enjoying a nice riverside dinner with a beautiful blonde had I flown for the same amount of time.

While it's colder than any cold I've ever know up there, it was rather warm where I was. I toured a facility that burned more natural gas everyday than the city of Calgary. The purpose, all to produce steam to heat up oil and make it flow. The scale of the project was incredible and as I struted along with my branded hardhat, just happy to be there, the operators suddenly turned to me, "So what's your take?"

I gulped, suddenly ambushed for my opinion. Maybe that was the warning sign that I was taking on a level of importance and perhaps even a level of reputation beyond my tracking.

Today the economics for my project returned, the model finally finished running. For 2 weeks of solid work, I have essentially generated 1000 times my cumulative 4-month salary in profit for the company.

The most astounding part perhaps is that the idea for this huge cash pot just kinda blurted out all at once, with no particular real thought behind it, between sips of my coffee on an overly extended break while I was complaining about something or other (I believe it was the lack of heat in the office).

Now I'm sitting here, floored... really wishing the company would grant me a 1% bonus on the net profit of my project. Which of course, has recieved every green light for progression in near record time.

2006-12-02T13:03:00.000-04:00

Bartending is a lot harder than it looks. Well classy bartending anyways.

Last night as part of a team building event with my Colleagues, our employer shut the doors at noon (catastrophic failures be-damned),boxed us up, and shipped us off to the School of Bartending Fine-Arts.

I wasn't really looking forward to the bartending part. I had assumed they were going to show us how to mix drinks, something everyone has learned in everyone else's parents basement throughout highschool. However, I was looking forward to the drinking part.

But when we got there, I was a little surprised. The focus of the course was not actually on mixing drinks, but on the style you make the drinks with.

With no alcohol consumption yet to be hard, we learned the basics of tossing and rolling Liqour bottles around our necks, backs, arms, and the oh-so-hard flip toss of the bottle (plastic trainer bottle at this point) and the subsequent catching of it at the proper rotation with the drink shaker.

Soon the plastic stuff was removed, we were divided into teams and the bottles were flying. Ice was flying around like Huge Hail Stones, and people actually sheilded their eyes as I threw my batch of Martini's together.

All in all, with my new bartender's license, I've not attained some valuable clout for Christmas Parties :)

Either way, By far the best part of the night was after the schooling was over, we herded out of the place and into the closest bar, where we ran up the company tab on a "supplemental team building event" :)

Previously secret, now Drunken stories began to get tossed back in forth, each and everytime shocking the entire crowd. "You're leaving ?!" "You got Hit by a CAR?!" "You got an offer WITH SHEL!?"

I braced at this last one, I was sandwiched between 2 of the companies lead recruiters for my department, the person in charge of interveiwing sat across from me, and a bunch of other highly respectable types, including my mentor all stared with their jaws slack.

"TAKE IT!" They seemed to scream in unison, demanding more details.

I laughed, instant relief and gave the details. Congratulations circulated, and soon it became obvious, that out of everyone at the table, only very few did not have plans for a relocation in the short term.

It was a little sobering.

2006-11-28T01:21:00.000-04:00

Now I'm in trouble.

I opened my big mouth... Well rather, free martini's and an overly inflated sense of self-importance opened my mouth. But regardless the result has been the same.

Yesterday, and essentially everyday before that when this issue was first raised, the decision was easy.

Today, I'm caught in the middle of a Tug of war between to of the largest companies on Earth. While it's flattering to have counter offers being thrown around like frisbees, it increases my stresses and complicates things.

I can feel My vision quickly becoming clouded again by the prospect of money. More money here, yet less enjoyable work.

But on the other hand, more enjoyable work, less money, but also no prospect of returning home anytime soon.

Just imagine me, sitting down to a nice meal.
I'm about to take my first bite when I look across the table at my smiling supervisor.

"So, here's the deal. Tell us what you want, and we're going to make it happen."

I didn't taste a single bite of the entire meal.
My entire brain power was suddenly, completely devoted to getting myself out of an embarassingly terrible situation.

"ahhhhh..... ummmmmm..... ahhhhhhh.... ummmmm.... I'm not really sure."

But I am sure of one thing.
I'm a f--king idiot.

I hope you're happy now Blondie :)
You said it would be easier this way... well, please tell me how.

2006-11-26T18:23:00.000-04:00

Sean sells sea shells by the sea shore.
The very same sea shore seen surrounded by seashell sporting ships on shimmering seas.

I've been smiling alot lately, and it's not because my mouth has been frozen that way. I've recieved a job offer which places me in the very center of a $10 billion project. The flattery that accompanied the offer did help this smile stay, but also the opportunity.

But still, I realize in full awareness that this is very likely the industry I don't not want to become a part of, yet the opportunity for my professional development is undeniable. Being a developer and designer on a project with a price tag greater than the budget of most provinces is exceptional.
Plus it is chance to do the work I love, the nuts and the bolts, the facilities, the working things that make it all happen.

Perhaps the best part is it's only 4 months.
I'm not stuck, it's just another workterm. But not only is it another workterm, its one of the most amazing workterms I've ever heard of, and it just kind of dropped into my lap.

"Never turn down a good thing"

2006-11-26T01:53:00.000-04:00

"The heat can be uncomfortable, But the cold can be scary."

I laughed, my Newfoundland provided supreme blend of toughness said these mainland folk didn't know the REAL Cold. I laughed it off when It had been said over a beer in that chilly little hole of a bar in Northren Alberta.

With the spoils of a 'real day's work' still under my fingernails and the bruise on my right forearm taking color nicely, the beer had quickly refocused my attention away from this 'bullshit' warning and onto other things like treasures, riches, and glory.

Today is a different story.
I have never experience cold like this. Cold that's so cold that people panic, stores close, and City transit breaks down. Buses won't start and trains pull into a station along the line to stop, only to be unable start again. Homeless people are found frozen to death and any car without a block heater won't start without a few kettles of hot water pitched over the engine block.

Luckily, these tales made their way to me via msn, tv, or the telephone, while my cold feet remained curled under me with a warm mug of coffee resting atop.

But as the day progressed, cabin fever began to take hold. I looked out the window. It was a beautiful sunny day by all respects, only the billowing chimneys atop every house spoke of any warning. I licked my lips, dry and papery as they were and figured, "I need to go to the store, some lip balm would be ideal."

I put on my ski jacket, gloves, hat, and capped it all off with a pair of tennis sneakers.

I left the warmth and began to walk to the store. The cold was biting with burning teeth under my pant cuffs, sinking its teeth in just above my ankle socks. My eyes seemed to make a slight creaking, cracking sound everytime they moved, but especially when they blinked. I registered a strange metallic taste in my mouth, I could feel my lips screaming with strain, just wanting to crack and tear.

Little More than halfway through my journey along the side of the neighborhood football field I turned round to gaze back at what I was walking through, maybe it was shorter to go back.

I squinted, not quite believeing what I was looking at.
A foggy, gradually dispersing trail hung low in the air behind me. The immediate shock of a possible trailing ghost soon faded.
As I turned my head, a tinkling, crackling sound started. I realized the scruff below my lips was covered in ice. The side of my trademark blue, red, and gold tuque was blended with strands of ice, all cracking, falling away like the lightest snow.

I breahted. My eyes cracked and creaked, focusing on the sight of the billowing cloud from Old man Winter's mouth.

My breath was freezing as soon as I exhaled. Huge plumes of White rushed out of my mouth. Spiraling and twisting together in the air. The moisture hanging as a light fog, unable to rise, weighed down as it froze into large enough sparkles of ice to fall lightly from the air.

I quickened my pace...

2006-11-24T21:55:00.000-04:00

Hey Guess What!

I'm Freezing!

and it's only going to get worse.

I hope all the rest of you are enjoying ridiculously warmer weather.. I'm stuck inside :)

2006-11-19T23:48:00.000-04:00

Insert a quarter and see what you can see for the sake of simply seeing,
pay a fee to take for granted the free blessing you couldn't live without,
stare in awe at natural beauty and curse the horribly intolerable human limitation you can barely live with.

But know that you have a heads' up, why don't you try not to, or at least pretend you know better?
But you won't... and I won't.
So nothing will change, and I'll keep smiling, trying not to laugh... at you.
---
I signed on the dotted line.

2006-11-18T17:53:00.000-04:00

For reasons unknown, after spending a long day hungover, the result of my attendance at the company cocktail party, I got drunk again. With most everyone else I know in this city traveling to visit family this weekend, I was left with little recourse but to try something I really hadn't before, I was going to have to "go it alone".

As If I were marching to some unheard beat, I rhythmically stripped down and pulled on something "half decent" and walked up the street in the dark, damp cold to the neighboring Irish pub.

I pushed through the old wooden doors and stain glass and found myself feeling at home in the smoky, dimly lit, and convincingly authentic pub. The crowd struck me as slightly less than half capacity as I walked to the bar, suddenly feeling terribly awkward.

Not waiting for anyone and not being waited for, I pulled out my credit card and handed it across the bar, deciding to start this trek with an amber pint of Kilkenny.

I started to become comfortable, as my bar chair conformed to me and I grew used to not having to talk, of course, the beer had also begun to do its work.

A cold breeze announced someone else's arrival at the bar. I turned slightly to see the somewhat recognizable features of face I just couldn't place. The fellow sat down next to me with an empty stool for spacing, glanced at my glass and nodded, "I'll take one of those"

I can't remember when or why, but somehow between beers 1 and 3, an impressively developed conversation about Alberta vs. Coastline living started with the fellow I had identified as a neighbour in our condo block. Without feeling the blast of cold air, a new arrival pulled up at my unoccupied side. I immediately recognized her and I saw she thought the same.

Extending a hand with a smile, I greeted her. My drinking mate stretched his hand across in front of me and conducted his introductions than excused himself, paying his tab.

"Here for the same reason?" I asked.

"Would that be not wanting to stay in, but no one else wants to go out?"

I laughed. "Words taken right from my mouth."

She ordered a beer which I hadn't heard of and a magnificent glass was placed in front of her.

The conversation drifted to more personal matters, how I liked the city, the work, my current employer.

I explained the difficult decision I had been faced with.
She seemed to frown at this, but yet had remained smiling. The trueness of the smile just seeming to fade.

"How about I don't say anything because I will only help stir the mix. But let me tell you something that someone once told me when I was in a similar position."

"Oh?" I said stupidly.

"I had to choose between getting home, or getting to where I am now. I poured out my heart to a teacher and he only looked at me blankly and said, 'Try to never pass up a good opportunity'."

She winked at me with that and finished what had somehow become her fourth drink.

She stood to put on her coat and I glanced at my watch. It was now 5 hours later and the bartender seemed to lean across as if on cue, "Last call my friend, anything?"

I saw her smile, she was watching carefully, no doubt taking notes. "I'm alright mate, thanks" I said, still unsure if I had said it with an Australian accent.

"Allow me to walk you home?" I said, signing my ridiculous bill

"Why what a gentleman, but only on one condition."

"Oh?" I said, unsure what was about to follow, my legs tensing, gearing to run.

"You remember what we talked about tonite."

I fought the urge to sigh with relief. "Deal." I smiled

Minutes later, and mere meters from my house I had seen her to her door, then skipped back to my room-mateless house.

I couldn't sleep. I rolled, tossing and turning and finally after an hour decided to head downstairs and watch tv.

I flicked on the television and planted myself on the couch, to my surprise, Starship troopers was on.

I buried in underneath a blanket and rewatched for the tenth time.

About an hour later the professor came along, "Rico, Remember you once asked me for advice?"

"Never pass up a good thing."
---
I woke up this morning, somehow relocated to my bed, with my decision made.

2006-11-03T00:25:00.000-04:00

When I look at the world...

I like to pretend I know exactly what I'm looking at.

Here I am, caught on film doing just that.
Far away from any place I'd ever call home,
I have no idea what I'm looking at.
I have no idea what the signs around me say.
I have no idea what anyone around me is saying.

But with the aid of a practised straight-face and a healthy dose of cover from some sunglasses, you'd think I was carefully inspecting these, knowingly examining the lot for the best.

.....
or not...
.. It is actually surprising how easily a perfectly reasonable and believable straight-face can be held almost perpetually when a chinese shop keeper is beside you, and you don't want to react to the fact that the shop smells like Butchered Dog (shit) and possibly offend him (get butchered yourself).

But At least they look delicious.

2006-11-02T00:49:00.000-04:00

I've been to lantern festivals before, however never one that was exclusively Chinese, well except for me.

And of course, never one with 6,000 Lanterns or anything like this 150 foot Chinese Dragon. But that said, this wasn't the biggest, nor the most spectacular, however it goes with the scheme of my blog just so.

I'm always a little miffed about how we in North America, and particularly Canada/US think so highly of ourselves. My Earlier levels of education never touched, not more than for a moment, on anything concerning eastern (eastern Hemisphere) Cultures. What I learned of China, Russia, Japan, and everywhere else essentially came from reading national geographic and watching TV.

I find it interesting how we consider ourselves truly multi-cultural yet concentrate only on our limited domestic history, with varying forays into Western European History when we feel the need to dive further back into the time line.

But that said, my knowledge of Russia has undergone a pretty serious renewal as of late.
I'm diving into The art of War again, and After this past weekend in Ottawa, I'm on the very verge of diving back into French Classes.

I need a second language. Actually, I guess I need a third, though my second, русско is still only in the toddler phases of speech.

I think I'll be taking some serious extra-curricular French classes when I head back east, especially given the current rankings of future homes:

Acceptable to Live:
Calgary, Ottawa, Halifax, San Diego, Houston, St. John's

Not Acceptable to Live:
Toronto, Cold Lake, northern Alberta (including Edmonton)

Yet To Be Evaluated (visited):
Vancouver, San Francisco, Victoria, Seattle, Raleigh, Aberdeen, Melbourne,

2006-10-21T16:01:00.000-03:00

I've been in the field most of this week, just returning to the hampering wilderness of the city last night.

15 hours of driving in 2 1/2 days requires a certain amount of determination. Driving in Northren Alberta, and perhaps in all of Alberta presents a unique challenge... The roads are dead straight.

There may be a turn every now and then just to see if you are still awake, but the roads whether highways, or rural town main streets are straight as an arrow.

The flat land simply amazed me as we passed through like a bullet toward our "rotten-egg" smelling gas plant. Cattle grazed and huge forests grew all around us as the mountains paced us on a parellel course some 80 kilometers to our west.

Though the trip was gruelling and the work, a dizzying mix of design and fix-it work was equally gruelling, I truly regret the trip was over.

Perhaps the most stunning part of the entire trip were the people. Very few of them were Born and Bred in the tiny community that served as our base of operations, the vast majority were a mix and match from all over North America. But despite the variety, the friendliness and openess of the people really reminded me of my home.

Perhaps that's why they all move out here.

2006-10-16T23:31:00.000-03:00

After a good sleepless night, a 15 click run on sunday in snow birthing temperatures, and a suffering day at work examining oil project economics with stiff legs I'm dead set where I'm going.

I never enrolled in engineering to sit behind a desk in an office with no window to scope out projects that I'll never see finished, or perhaps even started.

I'm just loaning my brain and my time, to get something kicked off. I'm stressing and burning away, using every intellectual effort I can manage plot and plan so a company can make a couple of million a day and somewhere down the line a couple of hundred tonnes of green house gas will get released all because I kept resharpening my pencil.

Meanwhile, a welder ten years younger than me with 6 months of training, makes quadruple my salary in half as much time.

I joined engineering for nuts & bolts work. I joined for design. I wanted to make cool things; I wanted to build STUFF and change peoples lives. I wanted to solve problems and not contribute to existing ones.

So in retrospect, I didn't really try to get out of this oil stuff. I said I wanted to. I even half heartedly applied else where, but I took what was easy.

I'm going to bust out now.

2006-10-14T23:51:00.000-03:00

I read an article in a local paper here about the "passive solicitation of head hunters" in the super competitive (read as: ridiculously competitive) scene for professional talent that is this city. Apparently they're more cut throat and ambitious in real life than even those lovable vegetarian head hunting cannibals in the Monkey Island games.

The section I focused on was one of the last paragraphs in the article, it listed the most important factors that let head hunters catch your scent. I carefully read through the bulleted list and realized I was a Relatively young, without-loyalty, and so on. It seemed I met most of the criteria aside from the fact that I'm not a "new-hire" per say, but instead I am a "temp" or a student employee. Smiling from the slight confidence boost the article had provided me (I'm in demand!!), I folded the paper up and focused on my cheap coffee and poorly progressing project.

Thursday morning my phone rings. I hit the speaker phone and answered with the same overly-jovial greeting. "Hi, this is A_, I'm calling on behalf of Shell...." I listened on as she told me who she thought I was and asked for an interview..

My throat immediately constricted, my eyes darted to the door. I kicked one of the chairs on the other side of my desk, rolling it across the office and slamming the door closed as I picked up the receiver for enough privacy to ensure I wouldn't be fired.

I managed to clear my throat of surprise and begin my very poorly rehearsed professional blabber.

Moments later I was in the Clear with an interview scheduled for an "on the sly" lunch meeting deep inside enemy territory. I hung up the phone and grinned like an Imp, pumping my fist into the air like a madman in the privacy of my office.

Friday's lunch hour came and I scooted out of the office for an "external appointment". I darted across the street, my tie flapping in the cruelly bitter wind. Face flushed and with the flu setting in I nervously checked in through security, stuffing my company branded name tag deep in my pocket. 2 hours later (an hour over schedule) my confidence hugely inflated with the promise of a phone call in 2 weeks and the details as to why they're widely regarded as the best employer in the world I darted back out through the revolving door with my head swarming with Dreams of New Zealand.

As I returned to my desk half way through a work day I had never really mentally arrived to, my mind began to settle. My Ego, still burning from the rapid inflation had begun to cool. I looked at my new Waterbottle with my university's emblem on the front, the Seashell on the back. A swarm of yellow and orange colored pamphlets sat in my lap while I looked out the window of the "World's Biggest" to the "World's Best" while my supervisor's gossip about someone else from a month previous echoed in my ears, "...and of course, once you leave, you can't come back, not here... not anywhere.. not under this company's banner, and not under any of our affiliates... You're a marked man then."

Today is Saturday (already Sunday in a place I want to be) and I've turned down the invitation to go out (free wine or not) so I can think.

I remember when I was a kid, just an only child, more focused on misbehaving and crashing my giant tricycle (called a winky) then on money, stature, or any of that other crap.

Every Sunday I'd sit with my dad in our tiny Volkswagen Rabbit just behind the fence at the end of the airport's runway and watch the planes take off and land. I'd watch every space shuttle launch, hang inflatable airplane models from my bedroom ceiling and poster pictures of space walking astronauts to my wall.

Now I'm being drowned by greed and being berated by experts who know how to change my mind better than I do. I'll freely admit I have no allegiance to any company at this point, but I still hold tight to my idea of what I want to be.

I still want to be involved with what I always loved watching. I want to be a force that changes, not one that maintains. I surely don't want to fade into the obscurity of an oil field engineer, no matter how big my house could be or how fat my wallet would be.

No doubt I would be happy in one sense.. but I'd be a happy nobody.

Thing is, its the only readily available option.

I could really use a good friend's input now... Someone just willing to tell me to shut the fuck up and give me their spin....

2006-10-01T20:51:00.000-03:00

I've finally gotten off the fence.

I'm not getting an Xbox 360 or any next generation game system.
I can't seem to feel out the point of it, and I sure as hell can't justify spending a $1000 on a game when I only spend $2.50 a day on lunch and drink free coffee.

After talking with otis, I'm leaning toward stacking it all in investments with the aim of growing what I already have. It makes more sense, than buying a piece of hardware that will be worthless in a couple of years.

Finances are becoming quite a concern here. I thought I'd be able to pocket most of my pay cheques but Calgary living costs are making that almost impossible.

There's no other way about it.
I either need to live somewhere affordable... or I need to earn a shit load more money.

2006-09-24T22:53:00.000-03:00

I'm ready to scream.

Today I reached my breaking point.
The number of times I've been walking around this city and wished I had my camera is innumerable.

Today, As I walked from the Train Station to the bus stop I noticed a huge gleaming white pyramid on the horizon. I stared against the burning in my eyes trying to see what the hell it was.
As I walked closer to the bus stop a large pine tree partially blocked the sun from my view.
Suddenly a huge, completely snow covered mountain took form.. and as I squinted row upon row of completely snow covered mountains to shape.

I stood in awe at the sight before me.
Being from a place that has a complete lack of absolutely massive mountains, this first sight was incredible and simply awe inspiring.

But Alas, my Camera sits back home, safe and sound collecting dust, causing me to curse everytime I see something that needs capture.

I suppose I could alway just buy another. But that would involve me spending some money :)

2006-09-06T00:30:00.000-03:00

I'm Officially a Commuter.

It's a whole different story here. I remember during highschool, most days I'd get home by riding the same bus on the same route. Route 12 back home is much different than here.

Today, after a 10 minute bus ride I jumped on the C-train.
So cool :)
While it was like what I imagine riding on a jam packed cattle car would be like, I was zipping through the city at nigh 100 kph staring out the window at more cars than I could count. Cars cars everywhere, bumper to bumper, a weird brown haze apparent in the headlights. The C-train whipped me away from the chaos of a crazy downtown core and our toward my quiet little suburb.
I'd been braced for a 50 mins commute. It turned out to be less than 25.

Again.. so cool.
I'm beginning to graduate into the league of my fellow big city commuter friends...
amazing what a well thought out public transit system can do

2006-09-04T22:33:00.000-03:00

Calgary HO!

Calgary isn't exactly what I thought it would be. It's hardly the cold concrete jungle I was told it would be. Huge mountains linger in the distance, inviting a future weekend trip while endless trails with lush greenery and pure glacier fed rivers flow through the city.

It's a bit much to take in as of yet, the city is much more massive that I thought...
Hard to believe it's 6 hours flight away from home..

Work starts tomorrow and it holds the promise Helicopter trips to the artic, Driving all over alberta, maybe Sask as well... it also demands that I drop my clutch and shift gears from vacation mode to 10 hour (impress the boss and everyone else) workday mode.

August has been action packed. After vacationing in Houston, Hitting Gros Morne national park and climbing one of the greatest mountains the island has to offer, I've been sent in a time machine to a place where the sun hasn't even yet begun to set while my body screams for sleep.

I guess I better blow the dust of my office clothess; time to get the ironing board out.

2006-08-08T12:46:00.000-03:00

Last Day in Houston :(

Trying to figure out what I should do. The Body World Exhibit is a strong contender as is the museum of fine arts.

Guess I'll worry about that all after breakfast/lunch.

Not looking forward to another long day of travel tomorrow. But then end always has to happen sometime right? :)
..and I'm beginning to miss home anyways so maybe the timing's just right

2006-08-06T16:54:00.000-03:00

I have to admit again, before I came on this trip I was a little worried. I had a preconceived, but luckily, totally incorrect vision of Texas resulting from a combination of Hollywood films, best-selling fiction and the travel experience of others.
This past weekend I was in San Antonio and it quite literally shocked me. My faith and love for the US was completely restored - Canadian propaganda and the CBC be damned. For the first time since I was in San Diego years ago did I really feel like I was in a place (besides St. John's) where I could live, settle down, and be quite happy.

The city has a hypnotic mix of culture, fantastic food, cloud touching architecture, and an endless stream of historic and modern attractions. There is a river that meanders through the center of San Antonio which is bounded on both sides by a wide walkway and is surrounded by the coolest of restaurants, clubs, pubs, shops and hangouts. It was possibly the most relaxed, chilled out place I have been. Everyone was at the 'riverwalk' for the same reason as I was, whether they were tourists or not - They just wanted to relax.

It was so much fun!! Of course, 1.75$ beers only make it more fun. But nonetheless, more than ample heat, little to no humidity, endless sunshine and dreamlike landscapes make it a place that just forces you to smile. Even back here in Houston now, with a trip to Johnson Space Centre looming, my mind is still drifting back to San Antonio, it was almost painful to leave.

Another thing I've learned on this little sidetrip to San Antonio is that my small sized girlfriend has a supersized scream. While at Six Flags, we naturally had to indulge our mutual fancy for roller coasters. It was pretty tame on the first couple we rode, but the last one, "The Poltergeist", was just sensational. Electromagnets accelerate the train to breakneck speed right out of the station, there's no pause, no slow part, and no break.... and surprisingly, there was no break in her scream. It was louder than the shriek of the ride itself. At the end, when we braked and coasted into the station, the people who were seated ahead and had waited with us in line for more than an hour, turned about in their seats smiling, obviously as surprised as I at the source of the scream :)

2006-08-04T16:25:00.000-03:00

Here I am, alive and well in Houston.

After a tremendous delay, sitting, waiting on the tarmac at Halifax airport (luckily in first class) and after a harrowing flight through the most terrifying thunder and lightening storm I'd ever seen, I landed in Toronto.

Luckily I had no worries of missing my connecting flight. While everyone else on my plane with a connection had been promptly screwed out of their travel plans, mine continued on somewhat blessed. My 8 hour overnight stay in Toronto's Terminal 2 had been cut down to a mere 4.5 hours. Sitting and waiting with a free bar and an individual interactive in-flight entertainment system certainly beats any airport.

When I arrived at Toronto, I passed through the gates and was released into what looked like a refugee camp. Hundreds of people were sleeping anywhere they could, trash was everywhere and the musky smell of a generous mixing of various body odors hung heavy in the air. This was hardly the sight that I had figured toronto's state of the art "Terminal 1" would grace me with. Evidently the Huge thunderstorm that had stretched from Chicago to Montreal had no only delayed my departure from Halifax, but had also closed every major airport in North America east of Chicago.

I quickly tip toed around the sleeping families and raced to the luggage carousel. Why I raced, I have no idea. I waited... And waited.... And waited.
and hour passed. Then the announcements began. "We thank you for your patience. Flight #'s luggage is on the way. We apologize again, we are experiencing difficulty with our conveyor systems."

The full second hour of waiting passed. Defiantly, I had ignored the sign (as many others had) and had decided to sit on the edge of the carousel, which of course posed no danger to anyone because it wasn't moving. Now thoughts were transforming into worries - I wasn't going to get my luggage in time to get thru customs and onto Houston [shit!]

Now into 2 and almost 2 and a half full hours of waiting the siren blared. It shocked me from the state of very fringe sleep I had managed and I bolted to my feet. The feeder conveyor belt fired up, and then moments later, a pair of panties was discharged onto the carousel. I burst out laughing. Obviously not my luggage, but sexy underwear none the less, pretty skimpy :) Evidently, a bag had gotten jammed into the automated series of conveyor belts leading from the plane, and obviously, the bag had been torn open. Moments later several tank tops and t-shirts were discharged and then the surviving baggage began to be discharged. I breathed a sigh of relief when my bag emerged unscathed.

A short shuttle trip later, I checked in at Terminal 2 and a mere 2 hours later was rocketing off to here, Houston :)

Now in Houston, where the daily temperature is 40 celsius or higher, I'm trying to get used to the sensation of walking from air conditioned building out into the roasting heat. The shock of being superheated from 20 degrees to 40 in 5 seconds is hard to describe. But it actually feels like someone is slapping you on the chest and the back at the same time. IT almost drives the breath from your lungs. But I'll take it, a nice pool to sit by, more roller coasters than I can count, and beer so cheap I'd think I was buying [cheap] bottled water :)

I'm beginning to love this place. Too bad it represents everything I hate.. Just one look into the grimy, oily, filthy sky reminds me.

We're heading to San Antonio Tonite.. where as Wikipedia vindicated me :) 4-5000 Mexican soldiers were held off for 13 days by 100 some odd Texan settlers :) god it feels good to be right

More to come..

oh.. And one more thing, everything really is bigger in Texas... Most certainly are the people.. Probably a result of the portions I have seen that make every dinner table look like a buffet table. I have yet to be served a sandwich I can fit in my mouth without cutting... Christ :P

Energy and Carbon

2006-07-31T09:00:00.000-03:00

I recently gave a presentation to my weary summertime classmates on Energy and Carbon. This was all part of the requirement for my Ethics and Law class; a required part of the education for any well-rounded engineer.

I usually hate giving presentations, let alone ones about stuff we've been drilled on since we were in primary school but 33% of the class' final grade value is something a nerd like me just cannot look away from.

Determined to bag 1/3 of my final mark, my group and I got together. All soon-to-be-engineers, we decided we'd divide the topic up into its major sections, fossil fuels and their [limited] supply, fossil fuel applications, fossil fuel emissions, and alternatives to fossil fuel.

Given my previous and my upcoming work terms based deep within the oil and gas industry, I had secretly hoped I would get the supply portion of the presentation, my mind was already racing with things I could include in my slides. But of course, being my ever accommodating self, I left another group member take it. This left me with the hefty task of presenting cleaner Energy Alternatives to fossil fuels, in a way that wouldn't rehash the same old topic to everyone again.. "A hydroelectric dam is...... It makes electricity...... Solar power comes from the sun....."

We began our research, and after some 60-70 hours of cumulative group work later, we were all pretty amazed. Facts such as, a huge amount of fossil fuel energy is expended in just making more fossil fuels, and while transportation uses 60% of all available fossil fuel and accounts for a massive amount of the emissions, again more than 15% of all greenhouse gases emitted are generated by new fossil fuel production. I was shocked. Of course, ~64% of all available energy in the world (anything that powers anything) comes from Fossil Fuels (coal,natural gas, oil)

I researched more into my topic and found it truly exciting. Some of the up and coming technologies (including an amazing electric car pointed out by matt) not only promise to help provide cheaper transportation, cheaper energy and cleaner air, but almost flatly promise to save the world from pollution and greed.

We gave the presentation. For 45 minutes My group mates set them up, hammering the audience with how our fossil fuel dependence is a birthing catastrophe, how the greedy economics are making some people rich while millions more people in some developing supply countries aren't benefiting at all and in many cases are suffering terribly as a result. The emission crisis, climate change, and the peak oil crisis were all laid out. Then I knocked them down with the Alternative Energy solutions currently and soon to be available. The question was, we can replace them, we can afford it, it will be expensive, but we'll be better off... So why don't we? Why work for a low-tech, very dirty, very greedy industry when there are exciting, high-tech alternatives straight out of the best science fiction?

My research on this topic slammed home. Am I going to take a job where I essentially (though indirectly) contribute to the destruction of the earth by keeping an industry that should be dead very much alive? I like science fiction, but I sure as hell don't want to help in any way, turn earth into what was portrayed in Blade Runner, some sort of destopian hell hole.

Do I tell the oil companies to stuff their money and take a job with an organization that will not only let me sleep at night, but let my children grow up under bluer skies than I did? We're only 50 years into the mix of this and fossil fuel use is steadily increasing, and already I'm worrying about what I'm breathing in, in another 20 years what will my kids be breathing?

I think I'm going to quit.
I don't think I can ethically proceed with what I'm about to do, despite the ridiculous salary offered... And what good will 'oil & gas experience' do me if I am not trying to get a job in that field.

and imagine... I'm thinking about kids.
Guess I'll have to put my plans for creating a fleet of interplanetary starships and space fighters on hold for now.

2006-07-27T17:02:00.000-03:00

I remember a couple of months ago when I made my last post. I couldn't wait to get the summer overwith.

Now, with the end of the summer screaming toward me, the end of the school term a mere 6 days away, and a fantastic vacation sitting at my door step I've managed to falter.

I've gotten lost.. and the most troubling part is I only realized I was lost today.
I've obviously been roaming for sometime, roaming away from that what I wanted most.
I've taken a job I don't want. Well the thing is... I do want it, but I don't.

I've gotten separated from my dreams. I'm getting separated from the person I want to share those dreams with...

why?
I couldn't look away from the spectre of a job that offers a ridiculous salary. Despite getting paid for what I don't want to do, I chased the money.
I forgot about all I've sacrificed; the reason I moved, the reason I went back to school, the reason I done so much.

I set off on another course without every knowing I had.
I irrationally justified it.

and now... I'm left wondering if its too late...
or at least... too late for now... for nothing really is permenant, and this sure as hell isn't.
thank god_
...
not a very good post to break the 2 month silence with.

2006-06-16T16:13:00.000-03:00

So we've managed to revive thebrig.org and we've released our first installment of what we hope will be the hugely successful Beneficial Development series: Facial Fitness!

Check out the article for yourself here.
Let me know if my sense of pride is misplaced :)

It's Happening!!! To me?

2006-05-31T14:09:00.000-03:00

I'm not sure what's going on.
My hair is Turning grey!!

I'd spotted the lone white hair in my left eyebrow just after Christmas and had shrugged it off.

"Ahh, it's only the stress of exams, nothing to worry about. It'll go away right?" I said smiling, letting tweezers make short work of it.

Wrong!
There has been an explosion.
The hairs on my arms are becoming sprinkled with white. My eyebrows are becoming peppered and worst of all... My head!

I had my haircut yesterday in preparation for my renewed foray with the pro-engineering world. The interviews are lining up nicely but my stress is also building.

"Colum! You are becoming wiser, no?"

I looked in the mirror at Vittorio. The short Italian man was barely visible in the mirror. His head and shoulders visible, floating around me madly as he cut, his smock flying up every now and then like a cape.

"Huh?"

"You must be learning much at work and school, you are showing it now." He said laughing.

I didn't understand. My face must have shown it, for a second later his hand jetted up beside my face, without my glasses I strained to focus on what he held.

"Oh, a gray hair?" I said, smirking. "Ya, they've been creeping in there."

"No Colum My Boy... Hairs! Many of them." He said smirking, knowing he had just rocked my world.

I squinted at his opened palm.

"Holy shit!"

Dozens of white hairs were laid out there, mixed with a few of their darker kin, they stood out like snow against his recently vacationed skin.

He laughed.

The haircut finished and soon thereafter my glasses restored my sight.
"Well holy shit!" I said, brushing my hand through my hair.
Peppered hair!

"This is simply unacceptable." I said.

"You're no spring chick now Colum, no more fooling the girls." He said laughing, pulling my smock off. A good joke, one aimed at the age difference between my classmates and me.

My hair had grown over the past month, but apparently, the layer that had just been removed had been the last of my youth, carefully hiding the truth that had lay beneath. With my 25th birthday just around the corner I groaned, hardly a good way to start off. The revoking of my youth.

I looked down at the floor as I handed over his due payment.
The last of my "kiddie hair" lay in several clumps where it had fallen during the massacre.

Strange though.
I had been excited when I had lost my last of my kiddie teeth and finally graduated into a mouthful of adult teeth. Hardly seems fitting that I should be so unhappy about this advent of aging.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that no one is offering to give me a dollar for each hair that I pull and put under my pillow.

2006-05-24T11:34:00.000-03:00

Alright, so It's been a while. But luckily in the near-month that I've disappeared from the internet, a lot has happened.

Here's a photo. It explains a lot of what I've been doing :)
This is one of those pictures where you can actually feel the pain of the person in the shot.

Unfortunately, the person in this shot happens to be me.
I ran the bluenose marathon (10k road race) this past Sunday morning. Despite a strained right calf I shocked myself. My training and dedication paid off.

I finished 39th out of the 967 runners who did finish. Could this be the beginning of a new hobby? :)
Well, I've already signed on for 2 more races in addition to the Historic Tely 10 road race back home.

I'm also back in school. Though I hesitate to say it seriously. Some of the problems with actually believing I'm in school have come from the face that a) The price of my books is roughly equal to half the price of tuition b) I'm in school for less than 10 hours, 3 days a week; c) every weekend is a 4 day weekend.

So, in addition to denying the reality of being back in the clutches of an overprice education system, I've also been thrown back into the co-op placement foray. But things are opening up a lot wider than before. In addition to the Oil & Gas jobs, positions with Research in Motion and other surprisingly 'High tech' companies are rolling in.

Things are shaping up well.. Despite the fact that the plan I had laid out ever-so-carefully has spun out of control.

But whatever, I'm happy... And it'll soon be my birthday
I'm not going to complain.
Big things are happening faster than small things these days.
Hence the poor quality of this post and the lack of time to post :)

2006-05-01T23:29:00.000-03:00

Finally, the insanity of work has ended.
But instead of being replaced with a blissful break,
It has been replaced with boredom.

I've spent some of today looking over what I did these passed 4 months. With all of my work laid out before me it becomes a little easier to understand why I feel relieved, yet so exhausted today.

Unfortunately, I've fallen in love with the work I was doing. Despite the back breaking amount and even with the feeling of being entombed in my office under growing stacks of paper, I really loved it.

I know this is a complete turnabout from how I felt a while ago, and the stunning change isn't lost on me.

Fortunately, my fortune tells me the boredom is not here to last.

Which brings me to the question I've been fighting with all day; Can two people's fate be so intertwined that a single fortune cookie can contain both of their.
Two pieces of paper.
One cookie.
Both specific, both different, both almost quotes from an unbelievable weekend.

I'm starting to build my greatest plan ever. One that just won't crash... but one that will never crash.

2006-04-23T11:19:00.000-03:00

I have so much energy.
Maybe it's because I awoke from 10 hours of sleep, such a rarity now.
Or maybe it's because I awoke with thoughts of where I am going' and not thoughts of 'where am I'

Then a conversation splashed into my mind from 2 days ago.

"I'm so full of energy today!"

"Oh really? I am kind of tired. Why are you so energetic today?"

"Because.."

"Because?"

"Because I am excited."

"For?.." I said, pushing a little harder, curious to know.

"I'm excited for the future... I feel like it's going to be full of adventure."

So this must have been what happened...

This Feeling, It is a restoration of faith in the fact that every day forward from this one will be better than the last, and that the evolution of happiness will never end. - anonymous

2006-04-17T19:44:00.000-03:00

"So what's your job?"

"Oh, me?!" I asked, then switched and answered. "I'm a deambusher"

"A what?"

"I'm the guy who gets ambushed."

"I Don't understand."

"Oh." I said, understanding his misunderstanding. "You see, I walk ahead and get ambushed. It's safe back here because I trigger the traps."

"ahhhh..... ooooooh" He said, his eyes suddenly widening, confusion melting away. "Are you any good?"

"I'm the best."

"Really?"

"Ya. I can even feel it coming. But... Still I walk right into it. I set it off.. take the fall... and keep the rest of everyone safe."

"The rest of everyone?"

"Ya.. everyone else.. or atleast what's left of everyone."

"Christ. Doesn't sound to pleasant... but tell me something. How'd you get into this?"

"Easy. I just walked into it."

"Very Funny."

"No... for real serious." I said, no hint of a smile. "When so many are so determined there's an ambush everywhere. You can avoid one and walk into another... So I figured.. What the hell.. I'll capitalize."

"I see." He said, slowly backing away. Not taking his eyes off me.

"..not good." I said, the dizziness not going away, the cramping starting up, my head feeling as if it was full of worms.

"What!?" He said, coming back toward me.

"Run!"
---

I woke up...
maybe taking naps in an over caffinated state is not a good idea.

2006-04-16T16:06:00.000-03:00

"Nice bow tie"

So last night spun out of control.

After a delightful 2.5 hours spent in a marathon of Song and Worship I was dropped by my little brother at the closest corner store, where after a quick procurement of 6 cans of the #1 Canadian beer in the world, I launched myself into a foray with alcoholism.

I'm not exactly sure what happened.
My cellphone produced a record of several Text messages fired off during my memory Failure.
I awoke this morning, rolled in my beddings, still wearing my clothes and jacket.
Strangely, I remember vaguely a dream about being very warm.

But It's Easter.
Which also translates into, It is time for me to defend my undisputed Title of Champion Easter Egg hunter against all willing sub-adult particpants.
My 25th Consecutive Victory drew Near.

And despite all assurances, teasing, poking, tickling, and intimidation, my Easter Egg Hunting Dynasty was shattered.

Not even by my brother.
But by a Witty 7 (almost 8) year old.

While I lay comatose, she had been up since dawn, prowling the house, scouting all the egg locations.
Then when I awoke, I walked straight into her trap.

Grand Totals:

My brother: 31
My Cousin: 46
me: 37

My defeat is indefensible. My domination devasted by an 8 year old :)
Now can someone tell me, when did the Easter Bunny Start bringing Bicycles?
And it's not even made out of Chocolate!
My jealousy knows no bounds.
My childhood, so black and white compared to the technicolor of my Cousin's.
I wish I had been... I wish I was spoiled.

That's it for Easter.
Now it's off to the airport.

2006-04-15T00:27:00.000-03:00

I'm home for Easter.
WEll, by home I mean my family home, in the place I grew up.
It's just an hour and a half jet powered hop away from real home.

Something strange is happening this time though.
I'm here and I'm uneasy.
I'm not feeling the friction of reintegration into a contained family unit.

I love seeing my parents, my brother and as always I love seeing my friends. But there is a haunting reality about it all.

"You're no spring chick anymore Colum."

Those words bit into me last week. I had been walking down the Boardwalk of 'Home' at lunch during a momentary escape from work. A talk occured that was very personal. Dreams, opinions, and worst of all, some plans started to spill out through my professionalism filter.

Though a laugh had followed the words and no harm had been intended, it did hurt.
It was true.
So I went back from my lunch and sat in my office.
I spun round in my chair for a few circles. Grey, spotted and flared with posters, postcards, and post-its swirled by.
I pulled out the extension to my desk surface. A yellow note pad and a yellow wooden pencil. I began scribbling.
I pulled out my calculator.
I started doing the math of a dream.
It's Very hard math.... It's very emotional. It's all the harder to conduct a logical operation when emotional "clouding" occurs.

So here I am now, parachuted so very far away from work. In a place of complete comfort and safety, waiting for Sunday to come. I'm thinking about the math I did, I'm thinking the thoughts I thought. All the while thinking the same thoughts that are tied so deeply to these numbers and plans.

How many more Easters will I be coming back for?
How much longer until I feel that pull to go somewhere else for Easter?
When will it be that I will want to go somewhere else more often.

The answer is too clear.
Perhaps startling so;

Soon.
But not sooner than Sunday.
Sunday Afternoon... just after 5.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'll actually be at the airport to leave when monday morning finally arrives.

2006-04-10T19:44:00.000-03:00

I jumped.

Last night,
separated by water,
hot and cold.

I can't see the bottom...
But, I can feel it.

And that's probably more important,
People see things all the time.

2006-04-08T10:06:00.000-03:00

It fooled me at first.

When the plane lifted off and sunbathed, snowless Halifax Dropped away below me I felt a chill.
A sudden torrent of excitment shocked my frame. I shuddered in my seat, no doubt drawing some undue attention from the larger gentlemen sitting in the middle and outside.
At the window seat I looked at every complication dropping far away, every obstacle becoming consumed by brilliantly white clouds. Leaving me alone. Leaving me free to think about everything that lay ahead.

Soon I was in the clear, blue everywhere, white below, black above and gold straight ahead.
"It's this easy?" I thought to myself... Of Course I was fooling myself.
I had tricked myself into thinking that I understood how I felt.
I had made myself believe, "I'm actually doing this." and it was as simple as that thought.
I had failed to realized that my body had absolutely no understand of what was going on. It was unprepared, sleep deprieved, over stressed, and misinformed.

For the next hour and 20 minutes I cruised toward what I believed I was ready for.
We circled the city I love, still buried in snow, surrounded by Ocean and looking as beautiful as ever.
Approaching from over the cliffs, we effortlessly soared across the last barrier and the plane skidded to a stop.

I worked my way through a surprisingly crowded airport.
Down the escalator, being careful not to push as I weaved between the people not suffering from intolerable excitement.

I turned the corner and bright eyed smile caught me front on.
I almost stumbled. My legs went weak.
The Reality of the situation had finally, unforgivingly smashed into me.
I had done it.
I had crossed every obstacle I said I was going to. I had brought us together.
A last chill raced through me and my hands began to shake.
Then in a split second I warmed, my hands we steadied from their shake, as we embraced.

I'd never known what it was like to be greeted at the airport by someone other than family before. I'd only ever seen it.
But now, finally, I understood everything.

My level of happiness soared passed 500 on our now obsolete 100 point scale.

With my bag in hand, you beside, we walked toward the rotating doors.
This was incredible.

The whirlwind wasn't here yet.
But it was surely coming.
.. and when it picks me up, I won't be in kansas anymore
.. and I won't care where it drops me as long as it doesn't drop me alone.

2006-04-06T00:21:00.000-03:00

[5 minutes ago]

"Hey"

I turned around, forgetting the fight to get my key in the door. My hands Trembling.

"What are you doing up?" Issac asked.

"I'm just getting back." I said.

"You missed CSI. It was awesome!" My face flushed red. I had totally forgotten to cancel one appointment, luckily It hadn't been my turn to host.

"Shit! I'm so sorry Issac." I said, knowing he was the kind of person to take this very personally. "Someone very dear to me arrived in town, I had to see them, I dropped everything to see her."

His scowl softened. He smiled. "What are you doing home then?" He said, the smiling now broadening.

"I'm going to pack" I said Unamused and noticing the beer bottle in his hand, I turned around, returning to the fight with my door.

The door next to him opened wider. Sam stumbled out into the corridor, obviously drunk. "Packing?!"

"Ya" I said, not turning around. Finally the door unlocked.

"Ladies and Gentlemen.... He's Getting ready to run."

"Sorry I missed the show guys. I've gotta be up early. I'll see you tomorrow." I said, quickly opening the door, then closing it behind me and locking it.

[BEEP BEEP]

In the dark of my unlit apartment my cellphone glowed.
I read the sms message in response to my own.
Once... Twice... Three times.... over and over...

"I like being with...."

I smiled, thinking to myself. 'Yeah, he's getting ready to run alright.... Clear across the world...'

Buckle up.
Here comes the whirlwind.

2006-04-04T19:18:00.000-03:00

Lunch Represents something terrific for me. It is my temporary reprieve from hell and today it was especially important. Today lunch provided me with a way to cope with the sudden and unexpected fact that my Separation from someone of great importance had been extended another 24 hours....

While sucking the last bit of chocolate milk through my straw an 'exchange occurred.'

"Did you just fucking see that?" He said.

"HuH? See what?" I said. I had been straining to look inside my milk carton to assess the fill level.

"That guy is the coolest guy in this city!"

"What?!" I said, now panicked. It had been Juno weekend, I immediately interpreted this seriously spoken statement as the presence of a possible lingering celebrity.
We stopped, I quickly turned around, gawking left, right, up and down the sidewalk.

"Who?" I said, I don't see anyone.

"There!" I followed the arm; the point. My jaw literally dropped. It wasn't even a Sunny day.

"What?! That fucking Nut job?" I said, possibly much too loudly.

"Ya Him!"

"What?! He is wearing 3D fucking glasses!" I said.

"I know! It's awesome! 3D glasses and a business suit!"

"You fucking moron. Do you think he is seeing everything in 6D now? Maybe 9D" I said, my rant triggered. A venting of the day's sum of stress and frustration had begun.

[no answer]

"He is obviously retarded. It's not a fashion statement! They are paper glasses with plastic lenses! His Mom probably dressed him. Hell his mom is probably calling the cops now looking for him! He probably escaped from whatever sponge bathing he was getting and thought the 3D glasses he watches cartoons with will make him see better. He's probably wearing the fucking glasses just so it appears as if every bitch wearing blue and red now is jumping at him. I can definitively say that guy is a loser. wait... not just a loser... A total fucking loser."

THe Walk light changed and we crossed to the front of work, I strode back through the gates of... THe Silence had lasted for quite some time now. I had been catching my breath.

"You done?" He said.

"Actually" I said. "Ya, I think I am." My heart rate returning to its impressive rest rate.

"Feel better?"

" a little."

"Just a little bit?"

"Give me 24 hours." I said, smiling at the thought.
It had been an eventful morning.

2006-04-03T23:17:00.000-03:00

On a Cloudy day,
I found a piece of sandstone,
the cornerstone of what would soon be my mighty empire.

But of course, in the desert, the sun is bright, the heat intense, and the mirages plentiful.
I held onto that stone, never willing to let go. I defended it against all attacks, fixed its chips and polished its blemishes.

So square,
so flat,
so level,
so perfect.
Soon to be the cornerstone upon which pride would be built.

Finally, I found a tool with which to carve.
I started with the date of creation.
I began to work, slowly at first,
chipping, filing... Carefully etching each inch.
Slowly the date, then the name,
each mark the birth of an empire formed.

There was a Pitter,
Then a Patter.
Then as deception would have it, there was No Warning.
Slowly the drumming on the ground grew.
My clothes grew heavy with the rain.
I shouted, there was no answer.

I clung to my stone and ran toward a door.
As I neared, the color changed.
I pounded at the door, crying for an answer.
None Came. All moved. Everything Empty.

I stood in the downpour, My stone dissolving in my hands.
Mud snaked down my arms, dripping from my fingers, staining my shoes.

With nothing around, I was left holding a pitted, jagged, eroded and broken dream.
I walked out into the emptiness, not letting go, not looking back at the unopened door.

Only steps later I came across a spot.
I planted my cornerstone turned gravestone into the ground.
The cemetery of dreams.
Plot after Plot of buried visions, neglected hopes, and dead ambitions.
Too much to bare, nothing to look at, I turned and walked away.
I walked for sometime, not stopping, not slowing, looking, just not knowing...

On a sunny day,
I found a piece of Marble,
The bone of a dinosaur lay to its side.
I sat, smiled, and carved,
This mark to stay. This mark to stand.

2006-03-29T21:29:00.000-04:00

A strange thing happened.
I woke up this morning with a head full of fog, convinced I hadn't had a dream.

Then, Tonite while I was running along with my group, under a beautifully clear night sky, against the Panting broken conversations my mind burst into recall.

"Frank?" I said.

"Ya?" The boy said not looking up from his fishing rod.

I looked at the little bop tumbling about in the water below. Our little legs kicked back and forth in the air under the dock.

The sun was either just rising, or just setting across the pond. The wind was gentle, barely noticeable in the trees. As the sun crested a cloud it froze in place. Everything was held in a golden hue.

"Where am I?" I asked, my high pitched voice, that of my 10 year old self ringing out.

The boy with his hair slicked to the side turned to me, now thoroughly unconcerned about his red and white bob. The sun reflected across his head in a brief flash forcing me to blink.

"You're fishing, with me. Everything's fine. You think Too much." Frank replied. His deep blue eyes then turning back to the water.

"But Granda, I don't know what I'm doing?"

People always told me that I was the split image of my Grandfather. I didn't believe it until later when I saw pictures of him before he married my grandmother. Sure his hair wasn't spiked, but sure enough, it was almost like looking into a mirror.

He Pulled back on the rod slightly. The bob bobbed up and down in the water, broadcasting concentric circles outward across the glassy water.

"It's easy" He said. There was a splash. "You can't know what you're doing. You've never done it before. But you can know it's the right thing to do" There was another splash. The rod was pulled back and a fish was dangling on the end.

"Is it?" I said.

"It is" He said before I'd even finished.

"You know Granda, I'm really Happy" I said. The fish now splashing violently, trying to save it's life. My boy Grandfather held an expressionless face, simply looking downward.

"I know. It's good to see. I saw the real smile from a mile away." He said, now suddenly looking at me.

"I really miss you granda."

"I know."

"Can I do this?"

"Trust me, and not because I'm saying this. But because I know this."

"What?" I said, squinting now, the sun had begun to fall again, it's dying beams blinding me. The water was ablaze with the firey oranges and reds.

"You'll do this... and you'll do much more."

"Really?"

"People don't forget your name for a reason." He said, setting down the dead fish next to him. Slowly he wrapped the fishing line around the rod and stuck the hook in the end. Climbing up clumsily, rod in one hand, fish in the other he looked at me.

"I must go now." He said, walking down the narrow wharf.

"Hi" I heard him say behind me, but not to me.

I turned around. The bushes beyond, under the tall trees were shaking as he had just passed through.

Standing at the end of the wharf , hands in the pockets of her shorts was a girl. She had Long blonde hair with bruises on one knee and was wearing dirty white sneakers.

"Hi" she said, waving and walking up the wharf.

"Hi" I said as she sat down. I started Whistling. Then I stopped.

"Can you whistle?" I asked.

"I wish I could." She said putting her lips together and noiselessly blowing air through. Then smiling she began kicking her legs in the open air beneath the edge of the wharf.

"Here, I'll teach you." I said, taking her hand.
....
....

2006-03-27T20:14:00.000-04:00

Still Sore and unwilling to go for a run, I chilled out this afternoon. Slinking into the sweet spot on my couch, I held onto an ice cold grasshopper and began to shut out the world.

Then without a knock my door opened.

"Hey, You up for csi Tonite!?" He shouted, walking in through my unlocked door, still wearing a suit and tie. As he kicked off his shoes he saw me on the couch, not bothering to look up at him. "Whoa! Drinking on a monday are we? Musta been a good day." He said, going to my fridge and helping himself to my stockpile.

"I guess you got that memo about my new Open Door Policy eh?" I said, shifting and reluctantly sitting up to face him as he took the arm chair, fully uninvited to do so.

Accepting my disapproval of his Self invitation P sat down, "Cheers to shitty mondays." he said as he threw the beer back. "So what's up?"

"Remind me, when did we become comfortable enough with each other for me to be okay with this?" I asked.

"Well I figured this was the next step. I mean, You see my nuts almost everyday, and I see yours."

This was true, we do run together as of late more than most couples do, and we both wear spandex runners. Though his are Pink and yellow and much tighter than mine. Mine are black and blue and glow in the dark.

"Alright, good answer. Well as for what's up...Not much really. The arse came out of 'er at work today. We're screwed... and, hmm, oh, I'm trying to make increasingly complicated travel plans."

"So everything went well after?"

"Better than you could imagine actually, I thought about it today, it was probably the most fun I've ever had with someone, we didn't laughing." I said, sipping my beer and looking away to avert his probing look.

"Sounds good. Tell her how you feel?"

"Ya. At dinner before she left."

"Love her?"

"What is this!!!" I said, lurching forward, completely insulted by the sudden jabbing probe. "Where the fuck did you get that question from?"

"We saw you, and who I assume is her at the airport on Saturday.... I didn't want to interrupt so we walked by"

I was shocked. I didn't have anything to say to that. He leaned forward.

"Are you going to do something crazy?" That was the second time that question, more or less, had been asked in an hour. I always suspected him of having some sort of extra-sensory ability.

My answer was the same, "Ya, I am, so?" I said, slumping back onto the couch.

"I quit today." He said, changing gears.

"You what?"

"I quit."

"Why?!!"

"I'm moving."

"You just moved in!?"

That explained the suit. The Tie. The half frown, half smile. He had always boasted how he loved his job. He never spoke about how much he made, but it was more than obvious from his apartment, which unlike mine, was always locked.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I said, leaning forward, now completely serious.

"I'm doing something crazy."

"What?"

"I'm going with her."

"You're going with her? what?! To South Africa? Are you shit nuts?" I said, not realizing what I had said until I had said it.

He set down his beer and stood up.

"Yup. I am." He said.

"You love her?" I said. I'd always suspected him and N had been more than 'just dating'.

"Yup."

"She know?"

"I think She does."

'It's not ready for words' was the quote that came to mind and I smiled.

Before he could leave I plastered him with questions. Did you have a job lined up there? no; Was it hard? no; Feel good? yes; Happy? More than ever; When do you leave? With her.

"Just... Do it.... Even if it is crazy." He said as he opened the door with the same hand he held a beer. "Go someplace warm, Walk on a beach. Or go someplace cold. Don't let the obstacles get in the way." He said, smiling now, then becoming serious. "You and I, we're lucky, we have the ability to get around most of them on our own. We can get around all of them with their help. I saw you Saturday, you know it's worth it."

He smiled. "My place for Csi tonite. Bring some Party mix... and a couple of these" He said showing the beer in his hand...and the door closed.

I stood there on the other side of the bartop like an idiot. My mouth hanging open.
I'd just had my mind read.
That asshole. He didn't even ask.
...And he was right.

I was the last one left.

The Marks of a Good Weekend

2006-03-26T17:18:00.000-04:00

That's it right there.
It might look like I forgot to wipe my mouth after drinking some coffee, but no, that's the mark of a good weekend.

I woke up this morning and stretched, moving to get out of bed. With the sun beaming in through my half opened blinds, it felt like I was under a spotlight. As I climbed out of my warm bed pains shot up along both sides of my chest. Then they were gone.

As the day wore on the pain didn't re-emerge until.. I laughed.

"Check that out."

I looked over to see a huge dog go running by with a little kid on its back. The kid was crawling along it's back, holding onto the dog's collar squealing with excitement. Then the dog veered and ran off the trail and into a bush. It only took a second, but the squeal quickly changed from a happy high pitched noise to a slow, low, quickly escalating bawling cry.

Parents were soon on the scene laughing. We laughed as we jogged by. It had just been on of those absolutely ridiculous things.

As I laughed, the pains came back, burning my sides. I stopped laughing and stopped jogging, holding my sides.

"What? Stitch?" My 'running buddy' asked, pulling up along side.

"No no... Muscle pain, I'm not sure what from, just got it that second?" I said, walking along, hands wrapped around my sides.

"Wait, burn from laughing?" He said, laughing now.

I thought back.
"I did do a lot of laughing this week you know, guess I strained the muscles." I said smiling.

"Shut up." He said with a groan "I guess you must have strained your Chuckle-ers." He said smiling now like an imp.

I laughed again.... and Quickly stopped as the pain shot through me again.

"Well I suppose it could be from climbing. My arms are a little weak too."

"Well then Come on and stop being a pussy, we're using our legs now." He said, tapping his watch.

"Well said." I said, sprinting and leaving him behind.

Either way, whichever is the reason for the pain, it's the same cause.
But the climbing was only a few hours.
The laughing..... that was for days.
and either way, I guess I really did laugh till it hurt.

Another mark of a good weekend.

A Good Weekend.
Also known as a fantastic end to an Incredible Week.

I guess that makes these the marks of a great week.

2006-03-23T00:21:00.000-04:00

It only happened for a second.
But in that second,
everything connected.
In that second I caught a glimspe of what was possible.

It's good that it feels that great.
It's good to know I'm not crazy.

It's time to change the approach.
In a city with no eyes and deaf ears,
Where every move is being watched,
It's time for actions to take the place of words.

It's time to show.

2006-03-21T18:34:00.000-04:00

I've spent some time trying to reassure myself that I'm acting properly. Before I go to bed every night I think. I think about the same thing. I try to sort through it a little more.

I've collected several opinions, All from my most trusted sources. Despite the fact that they are from all over; 2 from the other side of the world; the underlying opinion has been the same.

And every night, I go through it all again.
..And the stalemate continues.
Action versus Words.

So you can imagine the shock today when over lunch the subject of my deepest thoughts was thrown onto the table beside my sandwich and milk.

I coughed, almost choking from surprise.

"...So what happened after....?"

I laid my sandwich down, reestablished my deceptive composure... and I told the truth.

"Nothing...." I said.

My response was obviously unsatisfactory. Not because it was unbelievable, but because that's not what should have been the truth.

Much to my shock a winding, involving conversation then began that I was completely unready for, much less wanting to have.

The conversation didn't turn to probing me for information as I had readied myself for. She seemed completely accepting of the truth I'd given her. Instead, she began to tell me her opinion of what I should do. How she had achieved such insight into me was beyond my understanding. But she laid it out and I found what she had to say incredibly reassuring. I smiled, "You know I love you right?" I said.

She just laughed, understanding the joke and understanding what else therein I had just confessed.

We walked back from lunch, the sun beaming down.
The lights changed stranding us at the corner.
I squinted as the Sun reflected off all the buildings around me.
A car pulled up and came to a stop as the lights changed and we began to cross the street.
A flash caught my attention, I looked at it, I looked at the car.
There, hanging from the Mirror, dangling in the windshield was a Horseshoe.

I smiled.
Maybe I should believe in signs.

I got back to work and sat down.
I spun my chair around feeling a sense of relief.
My thoughts lined up, cascading into order.

The tug of War was over.
My side had won.

2006-03-21T00:35:00.000-04:00

We stood at the corner, waiting for the light to change.
A car passed and something clanged and noisely came to a stop onto the ground before us.

"Whoa!"

"What's that?"

"Holy Shit. It's a horseshoe."

"What? How?"

"I don't know."

"Well pick it up. It's good luck."

I stooped down and picked it up. It was pretty light and no sign of rust.

"Must be Aluminium."

"Let me see.... ya It's definately Aluminum."

"Tell me, how did someone figure out that a piece of metal used by Horses to walk in their own shit was a source of good luck?"

"Wait I know this...." A long pause, the light changed to green and we started to jog again, shiny, shitty horseshoe now in my left hand.

"I believe its from the wild west."

"No shit Sherlock"

"No seriously. Someone bent down to look at his horse's shoes just as someone shot at him. The shot missed and then that guy killed the guy who tried to kill him."

"So that horse shoe saved him?"

"Obviously that would be the interpretation."

"Seems lucky enough."

"Think it'll save your life?"

"I'm not planning on riding a horse, let alone having anyone shoot at me."

"Not yet you're not."

Hmmm, I thought, This is true.
"Alright, that's a valid point. I want to change the subject now, I'm not using up my good luck now."

"I like the haircut."

"I'm wearing a hat!"
...
This week promises to be absolutely fantastic.
Did the horseshoe I dropped less than a block later have anything to do with it?

2006-03-19T22:42:00.000-04:00

"Star light, Star Bright,
The first star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish Tonite"

I have a wish. I made a wish.
It's an important wish.
I've made it into a prayer.

If the cosmic powers let me down, and the Divine creator doesn't intervene then... I'll be left with little recourse.

I'll make a plan.
I'll make it come true.
My plans never crash.

But it may not come to this.
Maybe a miracle will happen or a wish will come true.
Maybe open mindedness will prevail. Maybe the Struggle will stop.
Maybe a Chance will be taken and maybe the obstacles will be overcome one by one.

Or maybe...
maybe my head will explode while I sleep from the thoughts and dreams that are about to overflow it.

"At times, Even the Power of God can pale in comparison to what one man can do with his hands and his heart." ~anonymous

2006-03-16T18:43:00.000-04:00

I finished my book last night.
I'm not in the mood for another.

My iPod has "Stopped working" and sadly, it can't be "fixed".

I'm sitting in the Airport.
I'm listening to Salsa and Clearing my mind.

I already have the window seat.
All I need now is a blank Canvas. Something, anything I can use to paint the patterns of my mind on.

I have a scribble pad.

Planes are always good for thinking. Planes are always good for plans
So little distraction.
And now, as fate would have it... what little distraction I had once equiped myself with is now gone.

It's the Perfect time to think.
It's a Perfect time to push crazy Colum aside and think rationally. Well, more rationally than normal.
"Do I really want this? And what am I going to do about it?"
The answers, all of them are screaming at me. Some of them are hiding behind others, others are obscured by feelings so strong and yet so unfamiliar.

I promise I'll sort them all out.
Just be prepared for the answer I'm going to give.
I can't warn you. I'm not sure what it's going to be.

Time to embark on a hearlding voyage through thought.
It will undoubtedly be a bumpy flight.

2006-03-14T23:40:00.000-04:00

[No Picture]

There are always at least two possible outcomes to every decision.
Generally, one outcome is more favorable than the others.

People fit into two groups here.
There are those who will obssess over the less favorable outcome.
They will plane contingenices and be ready for the disaster that they are certain is on the very verge of happening.
When they're right, they're ready. When they're wrong, they're Estatic.
While they wait, they're miserable.

Then there are people like me.
People drunk on their own enthusiasm and blinded by optimism.
They will obssess over the more favorable outcome.
They'll begin to lay out the preliminary thoughts for a future based upon a good fortune that hasn't even occured yet.
When they're right they're reinforced.
When they're wrong, they're devastated.
But while they wait, they're secure, happy, and perhaps even bold.

I'm not sure why. I'm not sure why I do it.
Of course, every decision doesn't turn out to be an upset.
Actually, most of the very important ones usually turn out well.
Hence the idiotic smile I usually wear.

Unfortunately, the most important one in a long time didn't turn out well.
.... and it wasn't even my decision.
Probably why I can't understand it.

shit.

2006-03-14T20:17:00.000-04:00

I've decided that from now on I'm only going to speak in code.
Invasions of my privacy have become commonplace and extraordinary measures are required now to protect what little I have left. Of course, I'd be lying if I said it was my idea. The original concept is seductively foreign, but I've decided to Expand it in such a manner as only I know how.

Everyone and Everything Important will be assigned a number. No more words, no more ears. The meanings of the numbers are surely known to those who are involved.

I'm a mathematician, the code should seem completely normal.
My number will be 100. The reason should be obvious.

Eyebrows will undoubtedly raise when I answer the phone.
"Hello, 100 speaking" ... "Good Morning There, 100 Speaking"... "Hi, Pleasure to meet you, I'm 100."

But as the conversations continue people will think they've only heard half of the conversation. They'll think it's about something they are totally unconcerned with.... Math. Some crazy kid with spikey hair is sitting over there rambling off random numbers, Has he gone crazy?
Yes.
But the number for that is 77.
"Have you gone 77?"
"I went 77 just after I had a 5 with 100"
"Christ, you really are 77. What 5 did you have?"
"We had a set of 43s, then another.... then another... it was pretty 77 actually."

As my life seems to be of such great conversation material, math should make a nice substitute. Math is the universal language after all. But if it's universal, how come so few people speak it?
Of course us mathematicians speak it, we're the translators for the rest of the world. But then of course, Engineers speak it, so do Astronauts, Pilots, and of course Scientists (of all kinds).

So the conversation will continue. Never again interrupted by who may be listening. Never again will there be the need for the sudden switching to diversionary topics such as the Weather, or failing that, simply Silence.

"Oh 100 is that you?"I say.

"Excellent Great to hear from you" I continue, ".... would you like to go grab a couple of 5's after 5? 5's not good? Ok no worry, Well how about 40 passed 7... you know, 20 to 8? ok.. perfect that works Maybe after we can pick up a 3, it shouldn't be any later than 10, certainly not passed 11? No? what? Ok perfect. Are we still on for 2? Excellent, I've been practicing my 33 and I think it's about ready for the 2 scene.... Yes Yes, I entirely agree. How about 7 on Friday? Excellent! I guess 7 is lucky, no broken bones in the forecast.... Yup, looks like Saturday... wait what is Saturday? Oh its 18? ok, Then Saturday should be fine for a 20. Ok, I'll write that down now so I don't forget it. Perfect. Alright, I'll 6 you then. Take care 100.... Yup, you too, 11 later."

And remember, they say math is a Language.
So I'm 100.
Friday is 7 and 33.
April is all about 2.
and Thursday I have a couple of 5s scheduled.
... and you're 100.

Hmmm. Now....
Only Now this is starting to get complicated :)
At Least it's not difficult.