My summer is over and I've entered what would be professionally termed my "10 day transitional period".

Strangely enough, almost as if in an act of defiance, I haven't packed, I haven't booked plane tickets; I really haven't even given it much thought.

Ironically, a little over a month ago I was set to go. I was seething with enthusiasm and childish anticipation. I had been looking forward to seeing familiar faces and ready for the challenges that undoubtedly awaited. But more than anything, I was just wanting to get it over with. School has dragged on now for 2 degrees and much of my free time with these demands surely to grow.

Now, with a departure for next wednesday I'm feeling unsure. The utter certainty of signing my name in various places has filled me with second thoughts. I'm tired of reading the instruction book to life, I just want to start using it. Like a child with a new toy I find myself not really caring if I break it, I just want to try. I want to play.

However, ss a result of my given signature, these seconds thoughts can be only that, thoughts. The reality is I'm gone in 10 days, probably not to return outside of visiting for quite sometime.

Maybe that is why this is so hard. I never used to read the instructions, I still don't.
But then again, I don't want to risk breaking this.
After all, it is my only life.